As an autistic adult who lives independently, it can be difficult to shift my focus to what needs to be done to ensure that I have the things that need to be done to make my life what it needs to be. There is time when what needs to be done can fall by the wayside and I will let go of the things that need done because I do not have the motivation or willingness to do them, even though I will feel better once it is done, it is often getting started that is the hardest part.

It is not that I desire what needs to be done, especially if it is things like clean living environment that only I mostly see, it just that my brain does not see that as a priority until the situation becomes severe that there is a need to clean up. In hindsight, it gets to the point that I would be embarrassed to show anyone the way I would live because I would let things get bad.

However, once it gets to the point that there is a desire to do what is needed to get what is needed to be done to make things right, it in a way feels good and I can have a sense of pride in the work that I do, even if I am the only one that can see it, it does feel good about the work that I do to make things my living environment look better even if I am the only one to see it.

 There are things in everyone’s life that need to be done for them to live. That includes making sure that their living environment is up to par, they are clean and have clean clothes to wear and so forth. Many times for autistic people, doing these things involves processes that include many steps that can be cumbersome to understand or may be overpowering to the senses, thus may not be what is desired to be done where it cannot matter to them as what they have to experience in the process of not caring for what they need to in the process of not caring for themselves or their living environment.

However, for me, reality sets in and there is a part of ultimate disgust, and things need to be tackled because it is desired to be done no matter how hard it is to be done. Rather it is doing the weekly laundry, shaving on Sunday Morning for church or cleaning the apartment, there are things that just have to be done whether or not I want to do them because they are expected of me and in the end I am proud of myself for the work that I put in to making myself and the living environment clean and not allowing myself to let things go because of not desiring to take care of business.

In the end, having the desire to keep having the desire to do what is necessary for daily living and independent living is essential as it will ensure that I have a better quality of life and will live longer. It can be hard sometimes to break down and do what is necessary even if the personal interests are much more desirable, but there is a reality that comes with living independently that continually needs to me met whether we like it or not.