After many years of being extremely close to my loved ones then living independently and the pandemic, I did not allow myself to see the importance of my loved ones and realize that they are there to support me. They want to be in my life, and I need to be in theirs more. They are all that I got in life that I have realized that I need to treasure them more.

Many times, I as an autistic adult have been selfish in nature and not seen the importance of having my family in my life. I had not enjoyed having to endure the family celebrations and even skipping them to not be able to withstand them because they were not something that I necessarily enjoyed or seen the value of being able to participate in.

There were many times in my life that I had seen needs other than being able to spend time with my family. It was not until my relapse last year that I did not see how valuable family has, that it is more than the significant person to which you are always attached. They are the reason that I am here and that I am loved and supported as I am. I know that they would care for me and in fact when I was at my worst last year, they were the reason that I was able to see the reason behind the necessity of getting my mental health under control.

I understand that I have not always been able to make life enjoyable for them and there have been some unpleasant moments along the way that have caused strife in the family. But there has always been a caring side to me to see that I am getting what I need to have in my life and that I am taken care of. It is within that I must realize that I understand that I must dedicate more time to my family,

It is by seeing things in a different light and seeing that being that my family is so positive and there for me that I need to be there for my family when I am invited to things we do together. It is seeing that it is more than the food on the table, but the thoughts and memories that are brought when we meet up and that we can do things that we once enjoyed before the pandemic and even new things that would be just as enjoyable to me.

The pandemic and my independent life had ripped away many years of much needed family time that I can never get back. It is sometimes the reason that I need to focus on my wellness and be here from day to day and not dwell on those negative pervasive thoughts that remain in my head. It is why I need to live and that it should be a high priority in my life.

I understand that there is a necessity to keep family a priority in my life and not be self-centered in my life by focusing on how things affect me and allowing myself to expand a little bit. We are only in this world for so much time and no longer want to sit by myself not focusing on my needs without realizing that there is so much more to life.