It is no denial that Autistic individuals have preconceived challenges with social connections. Some are perfectly fine with not connecting with others while others on the spectrum long for connection but the simple thought of making connections with others is fearful to them. We as humans in many find joy in fellowship and comradery, among others. Yet, it is something that I found is still needed in my life.

I was always “different” and connected to others differently in many situations. It is not like I never wanted to connect with others, yet when I attempted to make that connection, I was often ridiculed or belittled for my mannerisms or the way that I presented myself. This often resulted in slurs or name calling and sometimes physical jabs that at times were extremely embarrassing. However, I have never given up on my attempt to connect with other people.

For many autistic individuals, especially those wanting to make connections with others, it is a constant struggle that, especially in the years of the school system, can result in bullying in any form. Also, since spectrumfolk often fall prey because of not understanding the social landscape, they will do anything in whatever power necessary to have someone that they can call a “friend.”

But there can be many misconceptions that make an autistic individual realize what a friend truly is and much as there are modern progressions in educating autistic individuals on understanding social pragmatics, there is oftentimes challenges in applying the necessary skills in real life, especially when they are left to their own devices it can be hard to act fast when communicating with others in social situations when oftentimes an instant answer is required. This is due to the autistic brain having struggles processing information, especially when it is delivered in a faster manner than they can understand.

Yet, further in life, as I am experiencing now by living independently, it is beneficial to have connections on a social level with others. This can be evidenced when I do not follow my regular routine by going to things like day services where I connect to the other individuals there socially. Although I do not work on social skills there, there are opportunities there to connect with other individuals. However, I am beginning to realize that there will soon be a time when that will end, and I will need something to fill that void.

When the time comes, it will be yet another big leap of presenting myself to the outside world in a separate way to increase my social footprint in real life. As with anything I do, that initial fear is strong, and anxiety will overrule my mind and want me to back out of new potential as it always does. It can be hard to fight ourselves when it comes to fighting or fears. But I know that I would be nowhere near where I am today If I had never given things the chance to work themselves out. Things are going well now in my life, and it has become easier to endure challenges but if I know that I need to do it, I will put forth the effort and do it.

It is the fact that in my instance there is a necessity of filling voids of empty time on the clock with meaningful activity that is beneficial and healthy for me. I know that being in my apartment constantly is very unhealthy and is consequential for many reasons. People move forward in their lives and there must come an acceptance within myself that there is a necessity for making social connections along with increasing activity that is enjoyable and attainable for me.