Lately, I have been pondering about my journey to independence. Even though I have been living independently for five years, it was many years of thought and planning until I made the decision to conquer living independently. Despite a setback and some hurdles, I know I am much better because of living independently.

My first opportunity at living independently was just at random when I went to look at an apartment at a property that was once owned by the agency that my day services is under. I was twenty-one and overwhelmed. Mutually my family and I decided that it was not time. As painstaking as it was to decline the offer, a higher power told me that it was not time and that I needed to work on myself better.

The next opportunity was at random at a property that was inadequate for my needs. It required me to be homeless for a day because of the clause of their housing. Mostly peer pressure put me into this and even after buying many items, the weekend before having to make the decision, I hugged my mother in tears and said that I made a big mistake because it was quite unplanned.

Yet, the desire to live independently kept space in the back of my mind. Although my parents are wonderful and supportive people, there was a dynamic that was keeping me from experiencing what I needed to. It took many years of discussion in psychotherapy to understand what living independently would be like. I had some anxiety about it, yet I was longing what my peers were experiencing because I saw that they were much happier and even though I was living with loving parents, my happiness and entertainment was dependent on mostly one parent, and I could tell that they were challenged because of this dynamic.

So, the search began, I had received a supportive housing specialist from my county’s mental health office, and I met with them as they assisted me with applying for housing, although I did for the entity that I currently am in now. There is always a deep intention to stay in my community and no other communities in my county because of the unfamiliarity of the population.

In 2018, I got my first offer for an apartment in a senior /disability high rise apartment. I graciously accepted the offer and moved in. While not completely understanding independence amid not caring for myself by adhering to my medication regimen sporadically along with not being totally equipped with the skills necessary to live independently, things were rocky in many ways. Eventually, circumstances occurred that were quite tragic both within and outside of my control amid the height of the COVID lockdowns and eventually I had to relinquish my first apartment and return home to my parents.

Yet, again under the vacuum of my parents’ home, I was again trapped in an environment in which I was not flourishing. Due to not being able to connect with housing specialists, I fiercely searched for opportunities for housing wherever possible, including the place I first looked at when I was twenty-one, as I wanted to remain near my hometown. This was amid a global pandemic, however, day services slowly opened back up and I was able to work on some skills again.

One day while browsing my local newspaper, I came across a blind advertisement for public housing and I called the number listed. I learned that the property in question was for seniors only. However, I received a call back the following day from the same entity and was asked about living where I currently live. The next day, I went to the office and through the verification process, the manager escorted me and my mother to my current home and showed it to me. Being desperate and having minimal concerns, I accepted the home.

Once I got settled, I had bouts of disappointment for being where I was because of its location. While it was in my hometown, it took some time to get acquainted with the new neighborhood and how things would work for me all amid still learning new skills in many arenas. Eventually, one day I made a pros and cons list and I seen that the pros outweighed the cons.

In the end, I had to experience what I had to experience to get a firm grasp of what is necessary for me to be successful at living independently. Each and every morning, when my feet first hit the floor in the morning, I am truly grateful for having the opportunity to live where I reside and am proud of the work I did to get here and the work that I continue to do to make my house a home. It was a big learning experience and a big leap, but I would not have it any other way.