Something in my walk-in life is the fact that I never give up, no matter what life throws at me. It can seem like the roughest stuff sometimes, but I know that I got whatever is coming my way and I can fiercely fight it and be the person that I need to be and endure the challenges that are thrown my way.

Life isn’t meant to be easy. Being autistic and having mental health challenges doesn’t make it easy either. But I know that I must persevere and fight the challenges that cross my path. Bowing out of things that my brain maximizes, or thinks are the worst things that can happen in the world is not the end of the world. My brain wants to think that it is and that I must run away from it because it seems scary and difficult.

The reality is that in life that most of what I have begun to set my mind to has felt scary at the start where I just think it is the worst thing in the world like it isn’t meant to be in my life, but the reality is that sometimes it is meant to be and once I get comfortable with it, I slay it like a champ  as if its second nature. Sometimes, it feels like it’s never something that I couldn’t imagine living without.

It can be hard to keep going at times when life seems to throw you the toughest stuff where the mind thinks that the only thing is to run away from it and stay where you think you are safe. There are times when life sets you up with challenges because it wants to test you for what the next step is in your life even if you cannot see it, it is part of your plan in your life and it shows that you got it.

I know that I can do anything that I set my mind to, even though at times I may not show it. It is like that changes or new things are so challenging that they become very uncomfortable for me to endure. In fact, my brain wants me to think as if I cannot do what it has intended for me, but I know that life hasn’t given me anything I can’t handle.

2023 has been quite the year where I have taken the bull too much by the horns and thought I could do things on my own, but it has taught me that there are times when you need to listen to the advice of others sometimes, including family that I have hid so long from my life because I never thought that they loved or understood me. Quite the opposite. Not only family, but there are so many out there that care about my well being and they know that they I can fight this upcoming challenge just as much as I any challenge that has been set forth in my life.

The change that is going to happen this week, even if I have magnified it, is better and small in nature. The fact that there have been friends who have been doing this for a long time and I have always had my sense of comfort behind me when they have had to endure the change. I always say that things happen for a reason and there has come a point when what has been there to make me comfortable for nearly two decades is no longer healthy or sufficient for me, therefore I too need to make the change.

Change is inevitable and scary, but just as my peers a decade ago have undertaken the change, I too have made the change, and I will learn and grown just as much as they have. It is what is needed for me to someday continue to be independent when something that has been there for way too long needs to be taken away. It can be hard to accept when you only have a short time to accept it, and it has been quite a week of trial and tribulations in the process, but I know that I can learn and grow from it. Maybe it is what I need to go to the next level in my life beyond where I have been for far too long and a possibility of having a solution out of where I am presently.

There has to be a time when we have to accept that we have to move on from what has been keeping us down and maybe this is the time and way that I have to accept that I have to move on, but I can never give up. That is the way that I am. I am fierce and reverent and life and there are times when I have felt weak in the process, but I have to realize that it is part of what is to be considered when making any big change that is new and scary, but in the end I need to be strong and fierce for those that are cheering me along the way, I have made it this far, there is no use in giving up now, I have fought too hard and I need to hold down to what I have promised all my cheerleaders and supporters by not giving up.