In many circumstances in the autism community, there are two circles. The adults and the moms. It is often that the moms are alienated against what many of the adults want to discount the fact that they are not understanding the rights of their autistic individual. For me, it has been living in the lived experience that I know that the moms often know what is best and can save you from your worst.

It is without a lot of doubt that moms are afraid to clip the wings of their person and give them a chance to grow. Some know that their child has the ability, and they must do it, but it doesn’t discount the fact that they worry. It makes the times when we as autistic adults fear the simplest things and they remind us of those moments that they lived in absolute fear, but they had to give us a chance to see if we could grow.

There is the fact that they may not understand what is totally not going on with us or the fact to let us think for ourselves. There was a point in 2023 that I allowed myself to think way too much on my own and it set me up for disaster, but it was the parents that knew from the beginning that something was “off.” They worried so much that they cancelled vacation plans because they feared for my safety when I could not see it. You will not get that caring from any friend that has to put their needs before someone else.

Then there is the fact of their voice that can help you redirect when everything else in the world seems wrong and you are unable to pull yourself together when you think that everything else in the world is falling to pieces. It can be their reasoning that makes you pull yourself back together for the sake of all involved in the room and not go into a tantrum of a meltdown. They praise you for bounce back from those moments when you tend to be the person that other people don’t want you to see.

Yes, there are times when an autistic individual may think that a mom’s feedback is unhealthy or not helping them. In fact, there are times when it made me as an autistic individual downright frustrated and angry with them, but that does not give me an excuse to show anger at the moms, who at times only mean well by trying to help their autistic individual in distress and even though what they offer may seem unhealthy, there is a reality that you must understand that like any other human being that they are trying to help you, even if it may be unsolicited, it does not give you a pass to be rouge on them.

The fact of the matter is that an autistic mother knows their child’s needs and issues before the child often wants to admit that they themselves want to admit. They were the pioneers behind the scenes that had kept the childhood and fought systems fighting when the systems had other ideas for the one person that they loved.

Not all families may feel that way, but they ones that do are the protective mama bear that typically comes raging when they feel their little one is the most vulnerable and only wants the best for them when the world seems so marginalized when there is so much inclusion. It is a term that has been around for decades and even back then it was something that really didn’t stick as it does now, but they know that the moms must adequately use their voice and fight for getting what their child needs even when most of the world wants to discount them for just existing in the world where they strive to belong.

Maybe it is just me, bit I see where my mom and many others have been there when the individual cannot advocate for just their need to be like anyone else in this world, even when the world is so against the individual, the ones that love them the most care the most.