Part of being an adult is being able to make the choices that you want to in life. There are times that for one reason or another, you just do not want to do something. Accepting the fact that if you don’t want to do something as long as it is able to be avoided is indeed perfectly acceptable.

I had always had difficulty accepting the fact that I didn’t have to do things that I don’t find pleasure in. I have always felt obligated to do things in life as a family for one reason or another just because I was part of a family. Now, I do understand that not everyone can be left to themselves or that it is ideal. In fact there are times that things are obligatory to attend like special occasions for family and so forth.

There are things in particular that can cause added stress or can cause loss of interest for one thing or another. One of those things for me has become the county fair. For most of my life, I have attended or been involved in the county fair. I have shown swine in 4-H as an activity as well as displayed some of my photos from time to time. However, we have recently returned to more of a normal world since the pandemic, admission fees and costs have increased. While costs or different methods of access have never become an issue for one reason or another, I just haven’t had the attraction for a variety of reasons. 

Yet, it seems weird that the county fair was last week and for the second week, I did not attend. I even had a church bulletin last Sunday that could have gotten me access as they offer FREE entrance with a church bulletin, however I just did not have any interest in seeing the same old same old. As this is the second year of me not attending this is becoming something in life that is more acceptable or that is just perfectly acceptable for me . 

Nonetheless, I have learned that I am destined to have my own life in the way that I see fit. It does not have to include things in life that are a part of those of my family or are just the things that everyone in town does just because they are there. In fact, specifically since the cost increase in my county fair, I have learned that many others choose to go to the adjoining county fairs at a much lower cost, specifically if they do not want to do the things that the higher grade of admission costs, like the grandstand for exemple.

It is just accepting that finally in my late thirties that it is perfectly acceptable to do what I please and that it does not have to align with those that care or love me, like my parents for example. It can be very difficult as an autistic person to break away from what you have previously done as with family because you can at times deeply value their opinion, making it harder to break away and do your own thing. However, if there is something that does not interest you and you have the ability to not be able to do it and that finds you more comfortable, then go for it. As an adult, you deserve to have the life that you want and begin to use those self-advocacy skills to get the things you want in life, although it can not be guaranteed, if it can be met, you will feel proud.

Life is what you make it. You can either feel horrible and have hatred about things or you can do what feels good for you and begin to develop and grow your own life as you see fit. The choice is up to you.