For me, sometimes it can be hard to find motivation. This is often curtailed by the onset of autistic burnout and at times it can set me back some if I do not keep an eye on my wellbeing. I know that there has to be a purpose in living and to do that I need to have the motivation to keep going in life.

There are times in life that after extensive amounts of having to be an adult and autistically mask that it can be quite a struggle to find motivation to transition to something productive or anything in that matter but being in an unhealthy loop of rumination or falling into a trap of negativity. I know that this is unhealthy and oftentimes it happens from me laying on my bed having a pity party about how things in life do not happen the way I think they should because they are not easy for me. 

Getting out of that trap can be very challenging at times. It can take as little as twenty minutes to over half an hour to overcome the mini battle that I can fight sometimes several times in the course of the day where I can become unmotivated, hopeless and quite negative because my brain is flawed and I cannot see any worth in myself to get up and do something productive.

I want to wallow in self-pity thinking of all the challenges I face in life, thinking that they are the worst thing to happen to me. However, in the grand scheme of things, they are quite minimal and I need to be grateful for the opportunities that are provided to me and give me hope and purpose in life. It would be ideal if I could transfer those thoughts to when there is down time and focus more on the good things in life rather than all the faults in my life.

While I am quite proud and grateful for my independence, there are times that it can be a struggle mentally. It can be hard at times, particularly in the night to motivate me to make the transitions necessary to move from one function to the next and ultimately end the day, specifically in regards to following my medication regimen. Sometimes this can be an daily battle to overcome, but eventually, I give into the fact that there is  a necessity in following my medication regimen because I have to have purpose in getting adequate rest to start the next day off on the right note in order to function in a world that many times takes a lot of masking autistically in order to function properly without incident.

It is during that downtime that I am drained and at times it can be hard to bounce back from the stresses of the day, while quite minimal, hyperfocusing deeply on things that many times are out of my locus of control. It can also take me some time to recognize that I am doing this and need to refer to my calming list in order to keep my mind on doing something healthy. For example, I have come out of an over an hour of being mostly in a deep funk and it took my mother to get me motivated, of which one of her suggestions was to write a blog post, which has been quite healthy for me as of now.

It can be hard at times, yet being motivated is crucial for one’s mental health in order to live from day to day and not fall into negative behavior that many times those with conditions such as being autistic are more at prone for occuring if there is not proper care and attention to our needs.