In my journey of self-discovery lately, I am beginning to learn that consistency is key in wanting to do anything towards making a change for the better. It can be for anything, but in reality it is the sense of knowing that things will never get better for me unless I am consistent with the things that I need to do to make my life better.

It is not like I do not know what is needed to do in order for me to be well both physically and mentally. There are things that have been proven to work for decades, it has been nearly five years since I have started to get off track and over the past month and a half, I have determined that there is a necessity to get back on track and be consistent in the things that aid in making me well, mentally and physically.

For the longest time, I was doubtful about my outlook of life and whether things were working for me. But the fact of the matter is I honestly do not think in at least the past four years that I was honest about things or ever gave them the college try to see if they were actually working for the better. There are times even today that at times I doubt about doing the right thing, but I know that in the end it is the right thing and going off course only sets me further back.

Now that I have been nearly three weeks into doing what is right, there seems to be a sense that I have made the right choice to get back on track and give things a chance. When I started to go off track, it started to become this accidental occurrence because I did not do what was needed to make sure that I was doing the right thing like take my medicine. I was not doing what was needed and later it became an ignorance stance as a way of showing myself off in a way that I was smarter than the advice I was given.

But was I really smarter by not following the orders by my support team? There were things that were happening to me that were not the best things and I was many times in survival mode and borrowed time to get through life without being satisfied with life in some way or another. It was not making good use of good time for me nor was I living my best life. The cycle would continue to repeat itself over and over like a broken record with the same old song and dance, knowing what I need to go and give things a chance to work for the better. 

I would say that I was fueled to make a change in the right thing over two and a half weeks ago by the start of summer. I thought to myself, was this going to be a horrid summer where I was volatile and all over the place, or that I could start to make a change and make this one heck of a summer for the better by just doing the simple things in life and doing what was needed to be well, including following a consistent medication regimen to see how things actually work they way that they are prescribed. 

If I actually gave things a chance to work in my system and see what it could do for a change instead of messing around all the time being one way one day and another way another day, I was not doing nothing by living on borrowed time, like a ticking time bomb where anything could set me off at any given moment. I was there a few months ago and it is what began the journey to work towards making things right. 

After that, it was a good stretch of atypical weather for southwestern Pennsylvania where the weather was consistently dry that made me realize that I had the power to make things what I chose them to be and that with summer on the horizon, I could choose how I wanted to make things be in my life. I could choose to continue to be miserable and be volatile or I could make the right choice and have one heck of a summer.

Ultimately, I chose the latter and made the decision to do what was right. Sometimes, it was a battle every day, but in the end, I had known that I had made the right choice for the better and that I could make life better for me by being honest about what I need to do to be well and be consistent in doing so.