When embarking on a journey of trying to do better for yourself, such as I am, you want things to go just right and not backslide or become challenging. As my mother tells me, it is all about the choices we make that make or break us.
As many know, I am overweight and have been battling with losing weight for the better part of the past two decades. It is a constant better that comes with its victories and valleys. It is during those valleys and our result does not go to plan that it can be hard to rebound and work on correcting our mistakes.
I know what I need to do and in fact this year I account for what I eat. However, I do not think about having the best choices when being emotionally charged by hunger pangs. When emotions are triggered, there is no way to just say stop with one and two of something. Sometimes it is OK, because I have burned the calories and can eat the food and other times I do not do what I need to do in order to have the calorie budget.
Throughout my adult life, I have been displeased with my weight scenario. Over time, it has creeped up and out of control, I never took the need to be serious seriously. A few weeks ago, I started to go to the gym and started out by walking on the treadmill. This may not seem like alot for some, but for me, it took breaking down a lot of anxiety to do it. I have gone into detail about this in the past.
However, now it is important to have a continuum of all dimensions of wellness in order to make the extra work that I am doing pay off. After all, I am paying more for the gym membership and I have taken steps to go and put forth the effort. Therefore, I need to be serious all around about it and when I self-sabotage on food because of emotional triggers, I feel ashamed about the things I have done to make things worse.
I live off of my FitBit. It tracks my activity and I track my food intake so It matches my calorie level. I can hear Bob Harper in my head every time, “Calories In, Calories Out” and I know that is important in the picture of weight loss. Somedays, I am doing better at hitting my step and activity goals each day, so I know that I am doing right,
The same can be said for taking my medicine. As I have also mentioned previously, it has been a longtime struggle in this area as well, especially before bedtime. I have been doing well for the past few weeks as of this writing and only missed one dose. Yet, I want to feel like crap for doing that as if I am striving for perfection. However, I can sense a difference in everything since I have been more regimented. I now know the importance of staying on track and have been doing continuously well since the time I missed.
It can be easy to throw a pity party about the things you should have or haven’t done, but I know it will not solve the problems in the long run. Therefore, I know I must pick up the pieces and get back on track each time I self-sabotage myself and understand that not everything is perfect and we can do as well as we can sometimes.