I have talked a lot about my mental health. I realized I had to move on past old flawed thoughts. I needed to start doing what is necessary to care for it the way I need to. I have had to accept some hard truths over time. Caring for my mental health is essential, no matter how difficult it is. I must stop allowing my past behaviors to imprison me. It’s time to move on with life as it is.

There were things that I liked about myself when I was unwell. But they were unusual and unhealthy for me. I have had to learn that I had to put those behaviors thoughts and feelings aside. I had to realize something important. Life was so much better when I took steps to care for my mental health. It would also prompt me to become more aware of my caloric needs. This is an area that has needed some attention for some time. I can cook more. I need to be more cognizant of eating at home instead of relying on delivery and takeout. This is important when there is no will to eat or even care for myself. I needed to understand. Taking care of my mental health offered so much more improvement. Neglecting it was not a better choice.

I had to let go of believing that I was fine when I was not. I also had to see that things that should have been normal for me to do were not easy. I should have done what was right all along. Getting back on track would have led to improvement over time. Managing them would have been easier. I couldn’t see the damage I was causing to myself. I made things harder not only for me but also for those around me.

Facing reality was difficult. Doing what was needed was hard. Still, it was something that had to be done. There were, of course, the side effects of the medicines. They were manageable if I had taken care of my mental health. I was capable of doing what was needed. It was something that had to be done. I had known that I only had so much time. I needed to make things better for myself both mentally and physically.

Without a doubt it can be hard to hear the hard truth sometimes. It was difficult to admit this. After being inconsistent with caring for my mental health for so long, I had to say goodbye. I had to let go of what had made me feel on top of the world so many times. But that was the illness doing what was best and it was only hurting me and not helping me. I had to start letting go of what I held on to for so long. I believed I was willing to go back and forth as I did. In the end, I was only hurting me time and time again.

Eventually, I decided to let go of what was hurting me once and for all. I had realized that it was hurting me too much. Even the slightest bit of going off course was setting me up for failure. I had to recognize the need to improve my mental health care. This meant letting go of the old ways. I needed to move ahead and move on with my life. I was done being a prisoner of the past.