In the last seven years of living alone, I have occasionally been irresponsible. This contrasts with my known reputation. I have made many mistakes over the years. There have been many things that have not been proud. But through it all, I have been working at moving on with my life. I am taking the past as a learning experience no matter how hard it is. It is by doing what is right for me that matters most in all things.

I have done countless things in the past. This was because I flirted around with one particular mental health medication. This continued until late last year. I finally realized I had to stop because of my life situation. It was hard to accept, but it was necessary. I had to be responsible and do what was right, once and for all.

It can be hard to say that you just need to do what you need to do. You must realize that you can’t continue to play the same old games. Expecting a better outcome without change is unrealistic. When in fact there is really no better way to end it because others see when you are not yourself. When I was not caring for myself, others seen the dangers that I was doing and was scared for me. I had those hard conversations. I made better choices. These actions ensured it was the right thing to do. I had earlier thought things that were not right.

I had to be responsible. This meant either owning up to my mistakes or starting to make better choices. It was about doing what was right for my betterment. No matter what it took for me to get better, it was doing it for me and those around me. It was eventually having the old me back and doing what was right for me. I had to see when I was not caring for myself. I realized I was just making life miserable for those around me. Most of all, I was not being responsible.

I had to learn to grow and mature and start to do the right things no matter what. Even if it had put me down more, I had to realize that eventually things would be better for me. By doing the right things, I would get back on track. Life would be better not only for me but also for those around me. I would be more responsible and do what was right for the right reasons. It also took loving myself through it. I needed to give myself grace, no matter what.

Granted, being autistic and having mental health challenges is not something that is not easy to bear. There are things to help you be a better person. They have been proven to work for a long time. You must outweigh the choice I had long been facing. Start being responsible and doing the right things to get and stay on track once and for all.