Last year, I had finally made the decision to finally stop playing around with taking care of my mental health. For the longest time, I never truly understood how important it was to care for my mental health. It is a daily responsibility. I struggled with every prescribed medication. I finally realized how hard I was being on myself and others by not caring for myself. I had to make the change for the better.

It was late last fall. The signs were showing just like the time of the year. This can make me more prone when I do not take the extra steps to care for myself. I realized I had to take necessary actions to get back on track. If I didn’t, everyone around me suffered from my anger. Even though I was unwilling to admit it, deep down I knew what I was doing was pointless. It was destructive in nature and becoming overwhelming. It affected not only me but also those around me. It caused them to show more concern than normal.

It took doing what I had to do to all along. I had been battling over this for seven years. Ultimately, I had known it was the right thing to do. Just as I had seen in clips of the TV show Shameless, I had to be patient. I needed to give myself grace with things in the coming days. It was necessary for me to do what was right to get back on track once and for all.

It took being responsible and doing what was right for me once and all. Even though there was thing to combat like weight gain, that too had to be in my control. I knew if I had started to take care of my mental health. It would become easier to cook and eat at home more often. This would reduce my habit of ordering Door dash and take out, a practice that had been far too common. I saw too many events in the past months. They made me realize I had to put my foot down. I needed to do what was right to care for both my mental and physical health. Ultimately, I had to focus on my mental health. This grounding allowed me to also take care of my physical health.

I realized a harsh reality about my psychotropic medications. They are among the things that make me gain weight. But it was also up to me to be responsible. I needed to take care of my physical health. It is just as important as my mental health. I had to start and do what was needed to care for myself in the necessary ways. Even if it was unwanted and hard to do at times, it was important to me. It was also important to those around me.

It took making small steps and doing what is right for me and my mental health. Physical health would follow later. In those moments, I finally realized I needed to stop playing around and flirting with disaster. I knew I had to do whatever it took to get back on track. It was crucial to start the path for better living, both mentally and physically, for the right reasons.