It can be hard at times to be motivated. I need to care for my mental health. But the reality is that you can’t take care of one without both it and my physical health. I know there is a danger due to my size. Medications play a significant part in that. But it takes me doing what is right. I am mindful of what I am eating. I keep busy doing what I need to do to stay out of the kitchen. I want to live my best life because I not only have to, but because I want to.

Granted the last several years have not been easy for me. I have been more isolated than what I had been used to. But that does not mean I should exclude myself. I still need to do what is necessary to care for myself. I need to be strong. I need to be brave. I must do what is necessary, no matter how hard it is for me. I am getting older. People who get older and are bigger have shorter life expectancies. I have seen it time and time again. I know I must do better. I need to work on making better choices. I must be real about it.

Last year, I was battling demons I had been fighting for many years. Later in the year, I got them under control. This allowed me to focus more on what I chose to put in my body. At first, I did not choose the correct items. But, I worked on keeping my calories within range. I was committed to doing what was right, no matter how hard it was. It meant being more dedicated than what I had been in the past. I had my mental health under control. I knew that I was more prone to weight gain. I had to do what I to control it.

It took being responsible and just doing what I had to do to at first get moving. It was not about no longer lying, but being honest. At first, it wasn’t easy and took time to get in a better place than where I was. I knew that I had to do better for me and only me. I needed the wish and determination. They were necessary for me to improve. I had to start making better decisions about my health every day.

It meant being truly responsible for my own diet and that included everything about it, both mentally and physically. I needed to do what was right in little steps. I moved ahead with life realizing I was on death’s door. I had to start making better decisions towards my physical health. I also needed to continue managing my mental health for the betterment of both me and others around me. This was essential, slowly but surely, for the right reasons.