Over the past several years I have been on a journey on self-discovery. Sometimes that has helped me or hurt me. Eventually, I learned to love myself just as I am. I stopped trying to be someone that I am not. While I have let my true self come out more and more, there is some part that needs its stability.

For a long time, I have allowed misery to become my companion. I made those who love and care for me feel bad about life’s circumstances. I didn’t see that I needed to find my own happiness. They shouldn’t have to find it for me. In turn, working to find my own happiness has taught me an essential lesson. I need to be happy with who I am. I shouldn’t try to be someone I’m not.

Granted when I was not well I had been in many entanglements believing things about myself that were not true. I was probably more open and willing to do more than I really wanted to. That was part of the mental health disease doing its dirty work. It made me see the value of medication and that there is no shame in needing it. It is better than the choice. I kept going down a slippery slope and causing concern in others. I finally understood that I did not want to experience that.

Through many experiences and understanding, I learned that it was better to just be the person that I was. There are many others that are walking a similar journey just like me. It took connecting and finding them to see that there was no shame in being who I was. They were being who they were, and there were people that accepted them for who they were. Just like them, I have my own tribe.

I know that I am not alone. This discovery brings me peace. I can be the person that I am just as I am. I do not have to make drastic changes that were damaging to me in the past. I also don’t need to fit in a mold. The mainstreams make me believe I must fall into it to feel wanted and needed. There has been a shift. We have moved from being merely aware of autism to genuinely accepting autistic people as we are. We no longer need to overexplain ourselves or bend to someone’s agenda or wishes just to be accepted. I see that no two autistic people are the same. There is an increasing willingness to accept them for who they are, regardless of their neurotype.

I love and am happy for who I am. I know that it is perfectly acceptable to be just the person that I am. I can like and do whatever I want and have no judgment or hard feelings. I know that I am different and that is OK. Even though life can have its struggles, it is important to accept them. We should see past struggles, knowing that things are just as they are. There is nothing wrong with that.