Over the years, I have started to realize something important. I need to step aside and care for myself. It seems that I am being selfish. Alternatively, it seems like I am putting myself in a more detrimental position. Yet, I know what is best for me in the end. I sometimes feel the damage that has been done to me. It can be hard to explain and admit it, especially when it is often perceived to be other things. I understand that I must care for myself. This understanding is a big step in admitting that I need to be my best. I need the rest to achieve that.

Often, when I say that I need to do something to care for myself, it can be hard to prove. It is not anxiety doing its thing. This includes taking a day off from something that is felt to be helping me. Or, acknowledging that doing something is making me anxious. But there are moments when I realize it is not my anxiety. It is more important to do what is necessary to care for myself.

Granted, there are times when anxiety flares itself up and wants to show that I can’t do something. There is a fine difference between that. Realizing that if you do not care for yourself, my behavior is not very becoming. This makes it harder to bounce back from the care. There is also a part of me that knows I can do whatever I put my mind to. I do not have to give into false theories and thoughts. These no longer serve me in the way that I thought they did.

There is a part of me that knows when I am at my limit. Before reaching that point, it’s clear I need to step back and care for myself. This ensures I can be my best down the line when needed. I know I need to be my best self when others need me to do so. Others do not see that I need time for myself. Yet, I must focus on my well-being. Their opinions do not dictate my actions. I know that I have ruled out all other things. I must make the right choice for myself.

There can be a sense of shame when it comes to caring for myself. I understand what not caring about myself can do. It brings hurt by not caring for myself. I know if I keep delaying action, things become inappropriate. This can be bad for me because of past mistakes. I know I am on borrowed time. You must do what is right, even if you don’t want to. Otherwise, you are only hurting yourself more and more by not doing so.

I know there is no shame in doing what I need to do. But, I sometimes feel questioned for overcompensating my need to care for myself. I take advantage of the opportunity to care for me. This happens when others believe that it can be other things that are not necessarily true. I know myself and what is best. Even though at times I was wrong, I am sensing more of what is right. I am also sensing what is wrong. It is for no one to judge but myself. I understand that I need to care for myself.