I wasn’t always the nice person that everyone has come to know. In my early years of understanding social pragmatics, I was brutally honest. Sometimes, I was downright mean to others. This included people who were often in the same situation as I was. I was often in misery and would feed off of others misery if given the opportunity. But I began to see that I develop better relationships by being vulnerable and open to others. Instead of being shielding and mean, I decided to show them grace and kindness.

Getting to the point where I was graceful and kind did not come easy. I was deeply frustrated with myself and miserable for the most part when it came to daily living. Often, it involved having my own needs met. I did not notice that others struggle just like I do with their own challenges.

I wanted to be bitter and angry with others. I had to interact with them without wanting to be understanding. I didn’t accept what they had gone through. I had wanted to be mean and exclude them. I wanted to put them down because of the anger or anxiety I felt. At that time, it was hard for me to accept certain things. Sometimes I didn’t know or was privileged to what made something be what it was. I wanted to express my frustration because of what I was feeling. I thought being mean towards someone would help release my tension. But, my actions negatively affected others for no reason. I had to realize that it was up to me to work on myself. I needed to be welcoming and understanding. I should show grace and kindness to others.

But what I couldn’t see what the grace, kindness, patience and latitude that was given from others on to me. For the longest time I was ungrateful and unappreciative to those that even though the world of me. I protruded hate onto those who didn’t even know me. My reasons were not a true reflection of who I presented myself to be. I was living a double standard that was totally hypocritical of what I painted myself to be. I decided that I no longer wanted to be dishonest. I realized being a hypocrite was unchristian like. I had to learn to let go of what I wanted to feel. I also found better ways at channeling my emotions.

I lived a life of hatred for quite a while. I wanted people to feel how I did towards them because of the hurt they caused me. But I did not always understand how things really were and it did not paint the whole picture. After learning that in most cases people wanted to help me, I realized they were showing me grace and kindness. I needed to reciprocate that feeling towards others. I wanted to act because of what they had done to me. I also wanted to act because of how they saw me in their lives.

I know life can be so much better when we show grace and kindness to others. We let go of hatred, judgment, and misconceptions. We do this because we don’t always see the whole picture. If we are kind to them, they will most likely be kind to us too.