Since moving out on my own in 2018, my life has been challenging for me. For most of that time there was a continual struggle with adhering to my medication regimen. I had extreme difficulty in bringing myself back to where I needed to be to understand that I had challenges. I had to know that there was no shame or that I was different from taking medication. Especially if it was proven to help me. But I didn’t realize last year how crucial the medication is to my well-being. Now, I understand it is what keeps me together.

Over the past few months, I have noticed more instances. I see people in residential facilities. I myself can never fathom being in one or imagining that I would ever be happy in one. That would never be me. Even though I have an intellectual disability, I have always understood the value of all of my medications. They are a crucial tool to being well before moving on my own.

Granted, I have made some pretty destructive decisions over the past few years that I was not proud of. I couldn’t see the damage that I was doing to myself time and time again. I had to learn the hard way sometimes how bad things really were. I also had to be patient with myself when it came to being consistent with my medication. I learned how powerful of a tool it can be for living independently and successfully. I had seen other acquaintances choose the path to independence and were not as successful as I am today. It also motivates me to keep fighting. I understand how crucial medication adherence is for regulating my mental state. If I neglect it, the consequences can start small and grow significantly.

I do not want to be this person that moves out on their own and fails at doing it. So many people are proud of me for taking that leap. It was hard to do. But I did it. I believed things that I was led to believe. At the same time, I was caught up in other fantasies. It made it very difficult to get myself back to where I needed to be with caring for myself.

It was a long path with many nights of less sleep. I was merely surviving instead of doing what I had needed to do all along to thrive. Part of me couldn’t see the damage I was doing. I also couldn’t see the things that I had missed because I wasn’t caring for myself as I needed to. Eventually, I realized I can do what I want if I choose to do it. I can live a happy life if I decide to put in the effort.

I eventually realized that adhering to what I had to do was essential. This was crucial to keep my independence. I did not want to fail. I aimed to do what was necessary to be the best that I be. This was based on my own standards, not on what others thought it should be based on my behavior. Deep down, I can be a good person. I need to be medicated and take care of myself properly. That was the way that life can be where I am thriving and not just surviving. I was tired of playing the same old games. Last year, I decided to end those habits. I realized these habits were hurting me. If I had done what I had needed to do all along, life can and will be just fine.