Last year, I fought to get back on track with my medication regimen. One of the hardest challenges was letting go of the game I was playing. Instead, I had to work through the struggle, knowing that even though it was tough, it was worth it. I realized it was about more than someone else winning. I was the true winner as I began feeling better. It was no different than caring for a medical ailment.

Once I realized I had to stop the internal dialogue of flawed thinking, I began to understand. I thought my medication was hurting me or keeping me away from things I did not want to see. These things were bothering me. It was not about those who cared about me winning their fight. Rather, there were valid points about how I was feeling. Even though it took me time to see, the medication kept me in line. Along with the other work I had done over the years, it helped me understand. I had to take my medication every dose, every day.

The battles that are faced when working to get back on the medication are challenging in their own way. They can put you down. They can make you angry and upset. You think the battle is not worth fighting. You feel it is better to do all the things that are not right for you. Indeed, it was a battle over the last year that was difficult to overcome at times. Eventually, it became easier to understand why I had to fight through the side effects. I had to do what I needed to do. At first, the feelings were a mixed bag. Still, I knew that if I was patient with myself, it would get better. Eventually, things would improve.

Little by little things would improve. When there would be setbacks, I noticed their faults. I understood that the medications were responsible for what happened. I looked past what I had allowed to become acceptable. Taking care of things with just a pill allowed me to feel better about myself. Although challenging at first, things would eventually get better over time. It was about focusing on other parts of self-care. This allowed me to thrive in my strengths without worrying about my well-being in the process.

I realized it was not a way that was hurtful to me. Instead, I became willing to see things as they were intended to be helpful. This perspective was meant to just make life better for me. They were in the past. They would be better if I did what was right. I needed to give things a chance to integrate into my system. This would be achieved by being consistent with my mental health treatment. I chose to be honest about my mental health treatment. It was the right thing to do. I was working to understand how the treatments worked with me.

I had to learn to stop living life like I was playing a game. I was also doing a dance with my medication. I had long been battling this. I needed to start giving things a chance. They have always done what is right for me. It required consistency and grace to reach the point where I began to eliminate the residual ill-effects. I started to become more of the person I wanted to be.