When working at getting back on track with my medication regimen the past year, it has been a long journey. I had a hard time not having grace and being patient on the path to being consistent. In the years before, I had learned an important lesson. During my earlier struggles with the same issue, I realized the importance of self-compassion. It was crucial to give myself grace when things did not go perfectly. I had to learn how to have grace with myself. Being patient in those hard times was necessary. I also learned how important it was to focus on progress. I did my best to be the best that I was at the time.

There was a notable relapse in 2024. After that time, I struggled with being consistent with my medication regimen for about a year. It was not until 2025 that I realized the necessity of taking a progressive approach. I understood that my mental health mattered every day. By not addressing the buildup of medication struggles, I was only hurting myself. Life became miserable. I was avoiding reality by not noticing the subtle signs. Sometimes the signs were so obvious that those who knew me best noticed them. It was up to me to want to make the change.

Last year, I had many interventions. These reality checks made me see the importance of fully adhering to my medication regimen. It was noticing those subtle changes in my mood and being irritable. Then it was about the lack of sleep I was experiencing. Lastly, I had a bad dream. I also watched social media videos of life in correctional facilities and psychiatric units. These are things I knew I did not want to experience. The biggest literal wake up call was in my dream. Someone who resembled an authoritative figure. This person shouted at me to JUST TAKE YOUR MEDICATION! That was it for me, I knew there was no giving up in my battle that I was facing.

Eventually I had to accept that not taking my medication made me feel physically ill in a few days. I wondered to myself how I would withstand the feelings for the trade-off that I felt was better. It certainly wasn’t. I also learned of a self-assessment tool. It helped me assess how well I was managing my illnesses. These were related to the diagnoses I had. They were also related to the medication I was battling. I knew that I no longer wanted to live that way. I began to understand that all of my mental health medications are necessary. They are crucial for daily living.

I had to let go of the past. I learned to be patient. I also needed to have grace while battling the challenge to get back on track. Things would not be perfect or happen in the way that they would be expected to. It would be messy and not perfect, but ultimately in time they would get better. I needed to care for myself when necessary. Being my best mattered every day. The medication was a tool that made me feel good mentally and physically too! I learned to get back by being kind and patient with myself. Making progress over time mattered more than striving for past perfection.