The term special needs often refers to someone who needs special assistance with their daily activities. Living independently as an autistic person presents challenges. It can be difficult when someone refers to me as having special needs. Sometimes, it is hard for me to realize I have special needs. This is due to past flawed thoughts and my illness. As I become more settled, I see I do have special needs. They are just different than what is typically expected.

There are ways that bother when someone perceives my inconsistency in self-care. They can see and know that I am inconsistent. In the past, I have vehemently denied this fact. It has been a difficult battle within myself to get where I am today. I have had difficulty achieving stability. Regaining the trust that I broke several times over the past few years has been challenging.

I have had difficulty accepting that I have special needs. One of the biggest challenges is how I am seen in the purview of others. It can be difficult to see myself on the outside looking in some capacities and on the inside of others. It is hard when others see me for my differences. They do not value me as the person I can be and was. Things change and there were things that should have never happened in the way that they did. Part of that was learning and growing from those situations. I also needed to be better at understanding how to show and gain mutual respect.

It can be hard to set boundaries and understand that there are things that I just can’t control or do. I can’t be privy to certain things. I must be willing to accept my role in a given situation. In the end, I must recognize that things have changed over the past few years. I must accept that past events led me to crash in the way I did. I believed things that are no longer valid or true.

It is knowing my rights and responsibilities. This relates to doing what I need to do. It is knowing that I am a human being and must hold ethics when it comes to navigating the world. It can be hard when people use terms like “bud or buddy”, “sweetheart” or other demeaning names. At times, these make me feel less than the person that I am. In the end, it is what it is. I have done many things in the past. How I carry myself also shapes perceptions. Because of these, others see me the way that I am.

I need to brush it off when things like the aforementioned happen. It should not make me feel less than the person I am. I know of my capabilities and the ability to be the person that I am. It is about brushing off those little moments. I know I am stronger because I understand what life is like in the here and now. It’s my responsibility to uphold my duties. I must make sure my life is as great as possible.