For the longest time, when there were contentious moments outside my home, I felt emotionally triggered. Sometimes I reacted by targeting the person and not the need. Lately I have discovered that being appropriate in my self-advocacy focuses on explaining my need. Even though there can be moments when I want to blame others, I have had to learn to be patient. I avoid passing blame and judgment. I check if the need is met before reacting to the person inappropriately.

Many times in the past several years, I wanted to blame and call out other people. I thought there was something wrong with them. Instead, I should have focused on my issues and needs. It had caused my stress. Understanding things from my own perspective, rather than others, was challenging. Over time, I realized that it is not about blaming the person for their behavior or actions. It is about having my need met.

When we don’t know the whole story, it becomes hard to explain why something stresses us. Others can’t understand our feelings if they don’t know why we are bothered. Sometimes we need to see that there are things that make it stressful that are beyond our control. In those moments, we take action to stay focused. We choose not to react to the stress or pressure we are experiencing. While we don’t always see it, the things we do to take care of ourselves matter too. They can help make the parts that were once hard easier to manage.

We have to be patient. We should not always worry about things that do not happen the way we want them to happen. It is knowing that we have to find ways to be patient and when it is appropriate to confirm. It is also important to recognize that with change, you don’t always need to remove stressors. It involves learning to cope and understanding that patience and time to adapt are crucial. Working through things is essential to see how improvements can be made for you.

My first thought when someone or something causes me stress is to remove the stressors from my surroundings. Instead of taking the initiative and doing what I need to do to care for myself. I find greater pride in doing what I need to get through the ongoing stress. I am learning to work through the hard stuff. It is not about me avoiding something just because I don’t want to deal with it. When there is a balance of wanting and not wanting to be somewhere or do something, it takes patience. You need to have grace and understanding with both yourself and others. It’s also important to know that mistakes happen to everyone.

It can be challenging when there are uncertainties when there can be fears or unknowns when it comes to things. Focus on what you need. Avoid blaming others. This approach is better for you and them. It helps those around you too. This ensures you continue to do your best. You will learn and grow continuously.