A few months ago I have been more consistent with being real about practicing self-care. This skill has been essential for me. It helps me cope with the challenges that life has handed to me. I had to learn one key lesson. Taking time for my own self-care does not allow me to think negatively. I do not dwell on what I am taking time from. Nor does it let me feel guilty for doing what is needed for my recovery after a challenging time.

In the past, there have been times when I wanted to practice self-care. But they did not have the outcome I desired. There have also been times when I have not been my best. Sometimes I wanted to ruminate on things that were bothering me. I would have faced them that day if I had not taken the time for self-care. I had to learn that when I took time for self-care, it is specifically for self-care. It does not give me an excuse to be negative about the things that I am not involved in. Being negative would defeat the purpose of taking time for self-care.

The first part of self-care is the word self. It is to focus on myself and not to dwell on others or how they make me feel. It involves doing the things I need to do to recharge and refresh. This way, I can be my best self. I need to embrace these needs and not be negative about them. It is about making the best of the opportunity that I am taking. I should not dwell on the horrible things in my life. I should also not dwell on things I do not have or like. It’s about feeling good. It’s about being grateful and thankful for the small things that I own. These feelings emerge when my brain tries to shift my focus. It directs me to the problems in my life.

It is about maximizing the potential of the time that I take for self-care. It should not defeat the purpose of what it is intended for. It is about taking time to achieve or feel good about myself. I should not focus on finding faults or ruminating on what can’t be fixed. It also involves avoiding planning unhealthy comebacks or finding relief in undesirable ways. Life offers so much more beyond those negative thoughts. My brain wants me to dwell on them, but I should not let it take up space.

It is about letting go of past habits and practices. These are habits I and others have maintained based on flawed theories. I believed I needed to get back at people for things I thought caused my feelings. I have now realized these situations were different than I was willing to acknowledge or accept at the time. It is about letting go of the past and being willing to close the door on it. I need to work to find things to make the now more acceptable. This is instead of ruminating on what no longer holds value or weight. These thoughts hold me down when I should improve my well-being. I aim to be refreshed and recharged for what must be carried out.

It is about making the best of the days intended for self-care. I know they are not for sharing my sour grapes. Instead, I find ways to process my thoughts and feelings. I aim to be ready and willing to move on with life in a better light.