For several years I have experienced delayed echolalia on thoughts that are no longer relevant. Delayed Echolalia is when you hear something and you repeat it over and over. For years, things have changed. Yet, in my own space and mind, I have thought things should have been different. I believed they should be in a way that is no longer possible. Things are in fact better and much better because they do not exist in the way that they do. I have learned to start putting them away. I do this by distracting myself. I also use healthy coping skills. I am hoping that I can take the thoughts out for good.

What has been said to me was inappropriate, unhealthy and repeated to me for a very long time. I did not want to leave past practices because of what I had long believed. Yet, changing turned out to be the best thing for many reasons. Watching contentious YouTube videos was not helpful. I repeated the phrases. This started the stressful repetitive thinking to occur more. Over the course of the year, I had gotten better mentally. Stressful moments and other things still happened. I started understanding self-care. I also found ways to distract myself from the unhealthy delayed echolalia that I was expressing.

Over time, being around me became more pleasant. I also had to realize that everything that used to happen was in a different time. It involved different people. It is no longer valid. I had to start accepting things as they were in the moment as they were relevant. I had to let go of all the anger and meltdowns. I moved on from the bad experiences. I began doing what was right once and for all. This included taking steps to prevent negative experiences. I did this even when I didn’t want to. Sometimes the best thing I did was keep my mouth shut. I handled things in a healthier manner than I had in the past.

I started to find ways to escape my troubling thoughts. I focused on thinking about healthier things. I had to start having a healthy and open mind about many things in my life. In many of them, things have changed and are done differently than in the past. I had been through many changes in the past year. I know that change, while scary in its own way, can be a good thing. This is what has happened in many cases.

In the past, there was a wish for me to look with a fresh and open mind. I did not want to do that. I was partly unwell and believed that things should be what they were. Even if I did not know the whole story, I wanted to believe it was the truth. It was not being adhered to. Some changes happened to alleviate the stressful situation. Others made me think about my actions. This reflection helped me understand my place. I learned to have and respect boundaries. It also taught me to stay well, regardless of my thoughts.

As we close out 2025, I am also closing out the year. I am letting go of the past that is now history. It is about recognizing that I do not need to be involved in every aspect of my identity. I must understand my role and responsibilities, including why and how I am where I am. I need to keep a fresh and open mind about the current moment. At the same time, I should stay open and receptive to the future.