As an autistic person, I did not hear the catchphrase Self-Care until I was well into adulthood. I did not always understand what it meant. I was not aware that taking time away from normal routines was acceptable. It is okay to do this when things become stressful. Autistic people can be sensitive, but we are not always sensitive to self-awareness and space. Recognizing faces is also challenging at times. A few months ago, I realized that practicing self-care when stressed or anxious changed everything. It made my life flow smoother.

At first, I just passed the word ‘self-care’ around from time to time after I learned about it. However, a few months ago, I began to see that self-care was necessary at certain times. This realization helped prevent a major meltdown from happening. There are times when self-care is utilized as planned or for something bigger. Still, sometimes smaller things make it better for us too, even when we don’t think it will.

Over the years of me living independently, I have attempted to practice self-care at various intervals. Each time I scheduled intervals for self-care, life seemed to become more stressful. True self-care was often put on the side-burner. A few months ago, I experienced some pretty challenging events in my family over several days. I was still trying to manage the other responsibilities that I had. Others noticed I was not myself. I was fighting many things yet still going. When someone said to me, “Take Care of Yourself, Dustin,” they had sensed something bad for a long time. They knew something was going on.

It became clear later that day. It was an essential part of what I needed. I needed it for a few days to recharge in my own way. Some did not see it. They feared quite the opposite for me. Others encouraged it. They felt it was essential. After doing it I had been reassured that what I was doing was Okay and perfectly acceptable. There was no timetable of how things were appearing in those few days. Nevertheless, I felt much better over time. Things improved gradually.

As usual, anxiety came about resuming the normal routine. Eventually, I would resort to my tools of distraction. By focusing on other things, those thoughts, feelings, and scripts waned. I put the plan in place. It was the best preparation strategy. This way, I get back into the routine when it was time. During that time, I learned about some of my beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors. I discovered that what happened was history. I had to move on with a fresh, open mind. I focused on the best ways to conduct myself in the current. I avoided old ways of thinking that were detrimental to me, closing the door on past issues.

Sometimes we have to learn to move on with our lives. Part of that is accepting what is and what has been burdening us. This acceptance applies to our inability to process thoughts. We need to work through our frustrations about the past and understand why we had them. But, by taking time and practicing essential self-care, I can make things better in the long run. This benefits not only me but also those around me. They need that just as much as I do.