Throughout the last few years or so, I have been working on my Wellness Recovery Action Plan, or WRAP. Part of that is building a Wellness Toolbox. This is a list of things you have done in the past or do to help yourself stay well. It also includes things you do to help yourself feel better when you are not doing well. It took me a long time to develop and discover what actually works. I focused on finding effective solutions instead of dancing around the problem. Sometimes just finding the right one can be hard to find but can make all the difference.

When I am in my most stressful and angry moments it can be hard to find the right coping tool. The hardest part is just taking action to look for the right tool. As autistic people, we can be quite persistent. We often want things we think or do to be solved in our own way. That can’t always be done through and sometimes is just impossible. So that is when we must deploy those wellness tools.

One of the biggest tools I can find useful is just going to the restroom and regathering myself. Then I need to think if I have nourished myself recently. Is that the reason why I am acting the way that I am? If those things are met and the unpleasant things are still persistent, then it is time to dig deeper. You need to explore that toolbox further. You need to see what is needed.

Is it something that can be redirected or a distraction? Maybe you need to look at some simple tools. This can help get your mind off what you are persevering about. This is often the case for autistic people like me. If that doesn’t work, you need to find something more distracting. It should completely remove you from the situation itself. When that fails, you need to message or call a support. This should be a friend or someone you can have an unbiased conversation with. This has been a very beneficial tool for living independently. The online world, when used properly, safely, and correctly, can also be very useful in this effort.

When all else fails, get a good night’s sleep to see if the feeling or thoughts you are having dissipate. If not, then you must reach out for support. This can be a therapist, warmline, or the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You also consider going to the Crisis Walk-In or Emergency Department. If thoughts persist for an extended period of time and no relief is there, seeking help is crucial.

Most importantly, it takes finding the right tools in your toolbox. These tools can help in times when you feel you are in misery. They help when you can’t shake what you are feeling. You know yourself best. It requires being your best self, even when making hard decisions is difficult. In the end, know that life is always worth living. It does get better.