For decades I had many services provided to me. I still do have a few services. Yet, I eventually had to accept that what I was learning had to be put into practice. This was necessary to see if it was truly helping me when I needed it.

Living independently when autistic or disabled can make or break you. I contemplated on the idea and did not actually go with it until I was 33. I had thought about two other options. I almost went with the second one but backed out due to anxiety. It felt like divine intervention guided me to where I needed to be today.

Those first few years weren’t pretty or perfect. I had to actually listen. I also needed to put into practice what I had been told or taught. For the longest time I had led myself to believe many things that were untrue. I had a delusional way of thinking because of my mental state at the time. I had to learn how crucial it was to take care of my mental health. I also realized that applying the skills I was taught was effective only when I put them into practice. I needed to see if they actually worked.

I am also beginning to untether myself from my mother. She has been a constant rock in my life. She would often be firm and make me discover that I had to figure out things for myself. Not everyone can help me avoid the things I had to face, even when I was in the wrong. She taught me that I must make things right when I do something wrong. This is important, no matter how hard it is. But most of all, I had to start taking the lead in carrying my own well-being. I had to learn that my parents would not always be here forever.

How can I decide if something actually worked? I needed to try what had been suggested to me. I also had to consider what I thought was a good idea. But most of all, I had to be honest about what I was feeling. I had to accept being wrong at different times. That way, solving the issues I had would be easier to overcome. I needed to try what was being suggested to me. I had to see if it would work. Only then I decide if it was out of reach or not suitable for me.

If I was unwilling to make changes to myself, things would not get better. I needed to stop pointing out that everyone else was a problem. I had to discover that I had things that needed to be addressed. I also needed to work on solving ways of improving myself from the problems that I was facing. You can be angry and play the blame game as I did. You might want to find ways to get rid of situations. Alternatively, work towards finding your own solution as I finally discovered that I needed to do.

It can be hard to do what you need to do. But what if all the tools in your toolbox are unused? They are collecting dust or going into the waste can. Then what worth are they to you? Is your problem being solved? If no, it is something you need to fix. I have done the same, and it has proven wonders.