Over the last several months, I began to feel tired. I felt horrible about gaining weight. I was also upset about not having the money I wanted to do things. I learned that I was becoming too dependent on not cooking. I often had things delivered to the house. I was not being conscious of my calorie intake. This in turn contributed to excessive weight gain that over the years has never seemed to cease. I also aimed to stop taking medication for various reasons. I later realized that this was a mistake.

Over time I realized that I had to start be serious about tracking my food intake. I have spent a significant part of this year making sure I avoid paying a fine. This fine is from my weight loss support group. The organization has absolved fines for gaining weight as a whole. I was being quite passive about my menu recording. It got to the point I was just scribbling.

Other things made me realize I need to be more mindful of slowing down. I also need to improve my writing when tracking my menu. These realizations helped me discover where the faults were. Eventually I discovered I needed to reduce the number of takeout and delivery food I was having. I also recognized the importance of improving all dimensions of my wellness. This includes both physical and financial aspects. By doing this over time, I had seen much more progress than I ever had.

I also realized I needed to drink more water. This was due to a kidney infection I had earlier this year. I saw others struggling with more than kidney infections. Knowing that my family is prone to kidney issues, I decided to incorporate more water into my intake over time. I reduced soda consumption because it was not as important as I thought. This change also helped me save money.

While this isn’t the magic answer towards reaching the ultimate goal, it was at least the start. I knew that I had to start to be mindful of other things, like caffeine. Caffeine, for example, can wreak havoc on my mental health when consumed. This is especially true when I had excessive amounts of it in the past. Since the day I had a huge meltdown, I have avoided sweet tea. That meltdown occurred when I had consumed an amount over two years ago. I haven’t consumed it ever since out of fear that something would ever happen. Between the first and second relapses, I was totally caffeine-free. I had backslid over the past year. I didn’t always make the best beverage choices. Now, I totally understand how important it is to make the right choices.

With me wanting to do the right things, I have always struggled with being consistent and patient. There is a part of me that knows there is value in doing the right things. I have done right by other things. Amid so many challenges in the past, it can be difficult. Having food and drink accessible feels fluid. In my mind, there is a part of me that keeps reminding myself of my capabilities. If I put my mind to it and do it for the right reasons, I will indeed succeed. Over time, things will be better.