Through writing and experiencing excessive intrusive irrational thoughts and rumination a few months ago I started to discover what was needed to make those thoughts go away. While being dually engaged by listening to music and blogging is quite benefical, it is something that cannot be done every single moment. While also looking for quick fixes to rid my brain of the excessive thinking of what has been long belived to be echolaic ruminating irrational and intrusive thoughts that I could not control, I had discovered through TikTok that I had to tell myself to not stress and let of of the things that I could not control because it was becoming useless.

While in many ways I know that is the truth and things have been since resolved, improved and forgiven, there has been times where these ruminative thoughts appear for one reason or another. I had first belived that it was because of the full moon phase that was occuring at the time. There is a deep belief that one’s behaviors are affected by the full moon, but that is a whole other thing. There may have been the part of the “Sunday Scaries” of returning to a somewhat normal routine after being away from it for a few weeks due to issues with my parents. Whatever caused it, it was a reality and all other care needs were adhered to including being medicated and sleeping routinely.

While the thoughts began to wane, it was discovering what it was? Was it the Full Moon? Was it just experiencing the “Sunday Scaries?” It would take determination and understading to determine what exactly caused the issues that I was experiencing within itself to happen. But, I had begun to find a way out of the thoughts that were continue to occupy my headspace in a negative light. Granted it was mostly when I was alone, but alas it was there and it was qute bothersome. I was doing everything that I am supposed to be taking care of all parts of my mental well-being, but it was just one of those things that never seemed to go away.

By knowing what I was thinking was in the past, things have since been resolved and forgiven and I have since closed the door on what I was thinking made me understand that it was just thoughts. However, it was quite bothersome and nagging to me and I just wanted it to stop. I personally feel as being a Christian person and having faith of findng the answer, it was delivered to me in the way that it needed to be told to me. Sometimes God and the algorythym works that way for a reason.

However, it will also take keeping a close eye to documenting what I am experiencing and the fact that I need to understand that the things that I often let my mind think about are not in my control and there is no need to stress or worry about them. I must begin to not only work better at coping with the thoughts but also take a serious look at begining to let go of those thougts and expericences once and for all.