Many want to believe that autistic people prefer their own world. But, there is a part of us that wants to make connections with others too. It is hard to believe, but we crave connections. We want to connect in ways just as neurotypical people do. Social skills can be learned. Still, making the connection is very difficult because of the way the world is today.

When I began to move on my own, there has been a part of me that wanted to have friends. Eventually, I had to learn that it needed to be beyond the scope of my day services. That can be one of the hardest parts of the outside world. There can be tools like social media. Yet, it can be hard to find genuine people who see you for what you are and connect with them. Being autistic can make you seem quirky and odd. It can be hard to find others who are willing to look past it. These people struggle to see your genuine self.

Living independently can be difficult when it comes to being occupied. There are moments when you want to connect with someone. It can be hard to find someone that will connect with you for the right reasons. Many people want to take advantage of autistic people. They try to connect in ways that feel genuine but aren’t. It takes being firmly rooted and knowing what you want and don’t want when you connect with someone. Stand firm and do not give in to demands that make you uncomfortable just for the sense of connection. More people in the world can offer you comfort. They can make you feel better when connections don’t work evenly.

I do have a few friends that check in with me often. It is important to have that connection. We check in on each other often so that we can make sure that we are doing well. It can never be to the point where you have too many friends. There is a part of me that always longs for more connection. I know my family is aging and has their own challenges. This makes it difficult for them to always be there for me. It is something that I continue to work on consistently.

Everyone deserves to have friends. My parents have instilled in me that standard all the time. Some ways in today’s society can seem different than the old ways. But these new ways can make it just as easy to connect with others. You just need to be more vigilant when online. Know who is real versus who is not. But it also takes making more local connections. One day you can meet up and have that more personal connection that is desired.

We as autistic people do not always want to be alone. We want people to connect with us and be our friend. Sometimes it’s hard for us to say that. Nevertheless, expressing it can make our lives so much more enjoyable. It takes being patient and finding the right connections that can make all the difference in your lives.