Throughout my life there has been many things that have changed me. But before I got to the point of liking them, I worried about them. Anxiety is a big co-recurrent in my being autistic. It can make or break me. This happens when I step out of my comfort zone and do something new. I want to return to my old ways. Yet, what I have become used to can change suddenly. Along with trusting the process it is also having the faith that things will work out.

Change for anyone is scary. Being autistic and having anxiety magnifies the situations where there can be unknown factors. These factors can severely enter my life. When a potential big change enters my life, it amplifies my feelings. I heavily ruminate about the situation. I know it is nearly impossible to make changes when I think about it. I had to learn that. I began to learn how to live life doing the things I enjoy. I started focusing on enjoyment instead of worrying all the time.

Having faith and trust in others helps me believe in myself. It makes doing the necessary things seem less uncomfortable at first. Often when I start something, once I get used to it, it becomes easier. I just have to be willing to take the chance. It took a lot of talking to get me to move out on my own. I almost did once, but it wasn’t a perfect situation. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Sometimes we face discomfort. These situations push us to step outside our comfort zone. This enables us to do what we need to grow and mature beyond where we feel comfortable.

I have the faith to do the things that I keep doing. Without it, life would be difficult to live. It would be just as difficult for those that love and care for me. I have had to learn to have faith that things will be just fine and work themselves out. If not, often the worst that would happen isn’t really bad.

Still, we as autistic people often have determination and grit. We often do not want to give up. Even if we have to work harder than the rest of the world or do it in our own way. Many times, I have the power to do the things that I think that I can’t. It is just my anxiety acting up. It makes me feel like the worst possible thing is going to happen. Once I process my thoughts, things get better. I find the faith to press on.

I know I can do much more than I lead myself to believe. Yet, it is about getting the right things in place. I need determination and stamina to do what I know I am capable of. Anxiety can obstruct my belief in my abilities. But having faith in myself counteracts my thoughts. This helps me overcome the often-unsaid battle.