It can be hard to believe that it has been 25 years since my last psychiatric hospitalization. It was 25 years ago that I was housed in Residential Treatment Facility. Many opposed my mother’s decision to have me placed there. Nonetheless, it is what started to build me into the man I am today. It ultimately shaped my development. I resented my parents for a long time for making that decision. Still, I came to terms with this. I realized I would not have been on the mend to a better life without them making that decision.

I went through turmoil while living on my own. I was not compliant with my medication. This experience showed me something important. I realized how beneficial it was to have the right ‘cocktail’ of medication. It has made my life the best it can be today. I eventually got back on track. I steadily made it a habit again this year. This made me grateful for its ability to do what it does. I no longer question the need for it. I know I need it to live. I started to let go of the flawed thoughts I carried through my independence about it.

Did I enjoy being in a secure setting having to go though those tough times? Not necessarily. But as my mom reminded me some time ago. I was not safe around anyone. She was looking out for my safety. It was not to get a vacation as I perceived. She knew she had to do something to protect me. The Behavioral Health Insurer and County MH/ID Office were not hopeful resources. Their ultimate goal was not to reunite me with my family after things got settled out. My mother and a dearly-departed treatment team member did the leg work. They did what was needed to get me there. Without their efforts, it would not have happened.

My mom saw I needed help during my last psychiatric hospitalization 25 years ago. She realized that the plan for me to return to her home was not the answer. She was not capable in providing me the support that I needed to be safe. She was burnout in trying to do so and didn’t have the solutions on her own. It was hard for her to do what was needed. Yet, she felt she had no other choice to place me there.

I had to learn the hard way that past behaviors were no longer acceptable. After being discharged, things weren’t perfect. But, things eventually improved. Over time, hours in passive restraints became nonexistent. Things lessened over time to the point that I knew that physical aggression was not acceptable. Some behavior regressed over COVID. Still, I finally overcame that. I was back on the medications that I needed to be on fully. With that and being independent, most of the abusive behavior waned.

I know that I resented my mother making that choice for a very long time. Eventually, after being down the long road that I have been on, I debated the value of my medication. I finally accepted it for what it is by seeing its value. I am very grateful that she made that decision. I now know it is what saved my life and made me the man that I am today!