It can be hard to believe that as I am writing this how well regulated, I feel. It feels like it has been forever since I have been at this point in my mental health recovery journey. There are many things that have helped me get here, but one of the biggest things I have to say that has helped me is the fact that I have understood the necessity of my psychotropic medication and how important it was to stick out those days that were the hardest initially instead of revolting back to my old habits, no matter how hard it was, I stuck it out and can see how much better it was because I did.

I had to learn in that process that I was only hurting myself because of the pointless and destructive decisions that I was making without being honest about them. I had to let go of what I believed on my own because I had known what I had believed wasn’t true, it was a flawed thought that I knew what I was doing when I was not. I had to be patient and trust the process that I was going through. Eventually I saw how much it paid itself off to be where I started to love my life for the first time in a very long time.

There were other components of that journey that helped too. Understanding that there was no shame in needing any medication or having to talk to a therapist, but doing the work and being honest with the mental health treatment was the only way that things could be addressed or be better than what they once were. The reality was that while I was fortunate to know the people around me as long as I have, they knew when something wasn’t right. They called me out on it sometimes and that hurt me and initially angered me like they were ganging up on me. Eventually I saw it was because they were concerned for my well-being, even when I could not see it.

On top of that I had built my platforms through what they were and over the past few years with daily check in posts, I had people that I knew cared whether they were people I met locally, through past experiences or in just other parts of the online world, they were there with me and eventually I knew that I had to keep going and be my best because they would want it of me. It was also through having messaging with some of the closest of friends knowing that I was ok for who I was and that they were there for me but knew more of the signs too. They also made me love myself for who I was with no strings attached and that was so refreshing.

Life has changed so much the past few years, but I am in a much better place now. I have the want and desire to keep going and love myself and life for what it is. I know that there I can do what I put my mind to and will excel because I am not only taking care of my mental health but in a completely different environment.