I have been battling anxiety most of my life. It has gotten to the point where it has become the best that it has been in some time. I can now see when my anxiety is at its worst and I need to start to find ways to properly regulate myself by channeling the energy that is built up within me. It is not the ways that it used to be. And I am proud of that.

It has been a long journey to get to this point. I had at times seemed impossible to get where I am today. At times in my life, I was anxious every day worrying about anything and everything. Always thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen and how bad it could be. There was at time no sense of hope that things would be better.

Eventually things did get better because I just chose to not focus my energy into things that I could not control. I learned how to live with things and not against them. I had to let go of the fact that I could control everything in my life. Some things just had to be what they were and we can’t just change them by overthinking about them when we know it can’t be done.

Nowadays there are moments that my body fills with adrenaline and cortisol about things that are on my mind. I eventually bring myself down from those moments and overcome them much better than I have in the past. It is usually once I know that I’ll be safe and everything will be OK. Often when I am really anxious, I feel like I don’t have control of a situation or maybe I don’t know how I am going to get through what I have to get through. Sometimes its thinking about the ‘what if’s’ of the world not knowing what is going to happen or how it is going to work. Those can be the worst parts.

The biggest thing that I know when I am anxious is that I need to bring myself down from the feelings that I have worked up within me. It takes working in earnest to find a solution that can help relieve the tension that I am experiencing and bring me back into a sense of calm. It is knowing that it is pointless and destructive to go into a state of a meltdown or elevated voice because that does not bring a solution to what I am worried about.

It is realizing that it is just my anxiety doing the work that it does in my body. Sometimes I know it will pass, and it will eventually get back to a more regulative state. It has been a long journey in accepting that it is this way and that I have to do what I need to do to bring myself down from being worked up as I am and live the best life that I can.