I have been battling medication adherence for the past seven years. This struggle began even earlier throughout my independence. Nothing is perfect and mistakes do happen. But I am better at being self-aware of the need for all medications. They need to be taken as prescribed. I began to notice small differences when I did not take my medication. This realization has made me appreciate its value increasingly over time.

The reality is that I know when I am not taking it, it is pointless and destructive. I am also hurting myself. I know it isn’t explicitly stated. Others know when I am not taking it. Even if they say that I am not, I know that it is important to get back on track right away. I have become better at understanding its importance in my mental health recovery. It is a useful tool for staying regulated. Even when there was doubt, I have realized its significance.

I had to come to terms with the fact. No matter what I believed about not taking it, there were equally supportive statements. These statements allowed me to see the benefits of taking it. Things were just so much better when I did. This year I saw that. I continued to build more consistency in taking it because I can see the benefits that it provides. Yes, the side effects are there. I experienced physical health issues. Because of these issues, I know that the dependency on things was not sabotaging me. It was not as it seemed. Things would get better in due time. I just had to be patient with the process of both doing their work.

I also learned that the longer I neglected my medication regimen, the harder it became to get back on track. It became increasingly difficult to return to where I was. Furthermore, I was missing out on so much. It was hurting myself. It affected the quality of life that I was entitled to have for myself. I had to let go of the behaviors of the old ways. The illness was provoking these behaviors. I worked towards seeing that it was more beneficial to take the medication. I was battling with this decision because I knew deep down, I would need it eventually.

I had to let go of the flawed thinking about it that I had long believed about it. There were more benefits than what I was doing by unhealthy thinking and practices. I needed to be more proactive in my physical health. This change will combat the issues I didn’t like about it in the past. I had to let go of old habits. I understood that taking the medication I needed was perfectly acceptable. This was necessary to achieve the quality of life I knew I was entitled to and deserved.

Little by little I am seeing the difference in my mental health treatment. It is better because I understand the value of each medication. I also understand how life can be if I do not take them. It takes being more proactive and understanding that things are to help me and not hurt me. It is also knowing that progress can be prioritized over perfection some days. That matters too. I need to be kind to myself and give myself grace in the process.