Twenty years ago I was in a church that I was just getting to know. A man had come into my sister’s life less than a year before. He was becoming her Husband. They would have two children together. With them all and my parents, they would have been the biggest asset to my life.

It would take the longest time for my parents to understand the challenges that were experienced by my being autistic. How the need for all the attention to be focused on me was. Even though I did not understand what was wrong with me, I knew its effect on my sister. While she discovered life, she brought the man that would become my brother-in-law into my life. While my life was pretty squelched down by this point. It didn’t mean that there was some hesitancy on my point to bring someone suddenly into my life.

But somehow it happened. We made it happen. I don’t know how. There was a wedding and it was happening. It is said that when you marry a sibling of an autistic person they grow with you too. That has happened with my brother-in-law. They also had two children who are now in high school. They love me for who I am. All of who I am.

Throughout the past summer, I learned to be less selfish with myself. I also learned to share part of my life with them. I am not only loved, but admired for who I am. My quirks, challenges, all of it. It is something when I look back at it, I feel good about myself and the man I have become. It hasn’t always been easy. Eventually, I understood something important. Even as my niece and nephew age through their high school career, they still ask about being autistic in school. They inquire about issues I would never have thought about, like helping someone understand a topic they don’t understand. I can also help them see that we are not all experts in math or science. We don’t understand it like the experts want us to believe about autistic folk.

I have countless discussions with my sister and her family. Seeing them grow up brings joy to me. It lets me know how important it is to take the time to spend with them. We never know what will happen. They do not have the moments that they want. They do not understand why they would see us autistic people as human beings. From one autistic person to another, if they want to spend time with you, take advantage of the opportunity. They are far and few between, especially if they “get” you. Seriously fight your fears and do it. There were times that I wish that I had done it sooner but because of me being bullheaded, I didn’t.

Today marks twenty years since I was an usher at a wedding. It took place at a church that I haven’t seen in nearly that long. But the bond has been stronger than that, a family has been made, and it is strong. I love them and I know they love me and “get me” It makes me breathe a little easier. Hoping the next several years have continued joy.