2025 has been what I call the year of honesty. That has been my word. It has been how I live the day by day. Being honest with myself and caring for my mental health by adherence to my mental health regimen. It wasn’t easy to get where I needed to be, but eventually it pays off. I was patient with myself to let the medication work. I was kind to myself and gave grace when needed.

There have been many times when I haven’t been medication compliant. It took until 2025 to understand the importance of medication compliance. I didn’t realize I was destroying my life. Those around me saw it and remained silent. Deep down, I know that I was hurting them. Eventually signs appeared that I had to make changes or I would lose it all. My home, my job and anything else that I was blessed to have.

I needed to watch examples of what the medication was prescribed for. Actors demonstrated the battles they faced, which helped me understand. I realized that medication is not a quick fix. It put me on the path I needed to be on. I had to be patient with myself. I needed to give grace when it was necessary. No matter what, I had to keep on going.

I watched various video clips of shows like Shameless and Law & Order, SVU. They allowed me to see the reality of some of the things I experienced in my past relapses. I did not like those realities at all. There were harsh realities. These included psychiatric hospital holds and involvement with law enforcement. Both situations would prove challenging in their own ways if I had to experience them. It was hurting me and those I knew. It was also affecting those around me physically, even if I couldn’t see it.

Those things acted as the catalyst. They taught me that I needed to make changes for the better. Still, I had to be patient with myself in the process. I kept going no matter what to see the benefits. This perseverance attributed to me taking care of my mental health. There were many times before. I had ‘fallen off the wagon’ many times. But, I came to understand that many things were at stake. I realized I had a responsibility to do what was needed once and for all.

It was also understanding that the medication was to help with things that were the problem for so long. All the negative interactions over the past few years happened because I was not taking my medication. This caused concern among those that I was with. It was pointless and destructive to be in the cycle that I was in. Things were on the line. The second chances were not there. It was up to me to be responsible once and for all.

Through all that, I decided it was better to stay consistent with my medication regimen. I chose to battle the side effects on their own. It was by seeing the signs that things were on the line. I had uncomfortable conversations I no longer wanted to have. They made me realize I had to do what was necessary to take care of myself. That there was no shame in medication. I needed to be patient with myself. I had to let the meds work themselves out to get the balance I needed. I realized they were more beneficial for me than harmful. It made my life in 2025 much better as a result of it.