It can be difficult to process certain emotions. It is important to allow yourself to express them in a healthy way. It took until about a month ago to realize that this can be very healthy. I just had to find a way that worked for me. I needed to keep the noise level sustainable, so I did not disturb others. Additionally, I needed to find the best ways to let go of the pain I was holding inside.

Sometimes this is done through the process of writing this blog as I am doing right now. I do have music playing in the background and I often piece them together with images. When I travel on a bus, I do the same thing. I watch the road I travel and the places I go. But ultimately, one thing that I have started to be more comfortable with is crying when I need to. I do this in the safest places without catching the attention of others.

There have been times when I have cried. It was in a manic state. It did catch the attention. But even when I am mentally well, things come across that are hard to accept. Sometimes I have a fury of emotions built up inside of me. It can feel so good to let them out. I was unaware of this. It became clear when I struggled to let go of someone who had been in my life for several decades. It felt like a freight train had hit me. I didn’t want to do anything. I felt robbed of my life. It seemed it would never be the same. Eventually, I played the music. I started to let it out in big heavy cries that only I see and hear.

For so many years, I believed that crying for men was a sign of weakness. Now, I feel it is something that should be a part of life. There is great pressure to show emotions in a manly way. Being emotional in a non-manly manner is seen as cowardly and weak. But it was what got me back in line. Sometimes I would let it out in a counseling session because I had known that was the place for that. In a world where we sometimes don’t see that person face-to-face, there has to be an acceptance. We need to normalize things for men regardless of their sexuality or attraction.

Life is hard. Things happen. It is essential to process things in a healthy way. This applies to everyone, regardless of their position in society. What matters is you processing your emotions in a way that is healthy for you. There is no weakness about that. People want you at your best and being out in the outside world deserves your best. The stigma needs to continue to be broken and sometimes it just needs to be let out. Believe me, you will feel so much better in the end.