This Father’s Day has a sentimental meaning to me because my father is where he wanted to be and even though at times throughout my life our dynamic has changed, in the past year he as taught me so much about perseverance and staying strong no matter how difficult it could be. The man, the legend who I would often ridicule or make fun of when he had his challenges only for him to reply rhetorically with “someday it will happen to you!” Little did anyone imagine nearly thirteen months later; his life would change forever.

Father’s Days in my family for most of the past two decades have meant going on Wagon Trains and doing things away from the house. The past year has also been very challenging for the entire family. Now that he is home, I am slowly making a more concerted effort to go and see him more often. Sometimes his condition has me taken aback and hard to see him in the position that he is in, yet I know that I am blessed to still have my father in my life and that on better terms than we have been in a very long time.

Our dynamic was part of what was generational parenting. Later realizing that, I started to be more forgiving and understanding of my father and realized that he has been trying to do his best throughout my life to ensure that my life is the best that it can be. Even though I had barely recognized it, he did many things that were uncomfortable to him so he could have some father – son time that he so desperately wanted to connect with me when many times it was challenging for me to see past his flaws to his real intentions.

I know that he did the best that he could. Looking back, I couldn’t imagine having any other father that did so much for me. From realizing the little things when I left school library books at home and running them to my school across town or checking on me when things didn’t seem right in High School and then had what someone called a ‘ruckus’ in the school office. He did all that he could do to provide the love that he so wanted but many times was unwilling to understand and accept due to not seeing things in that light.

Life is now different for both of us. He has shown his love in ways that I see more. I am more compassionate and understanding of when he wants to talk and I always tell both him and my mother I love them when I depart from seeing them. I have moved things around in my life to accommodate their needs, including stepping more out of my comfort zone. I am grateful for previous challenges for having to make their changes as a steppingstone to independence that eventually led me to being welcome to making necessary changes to being more independent.

My father has always been looking out for me, and I know of many things that he has taught me that has aided in me maintaining the best quality of life that I can. Things could have been completely different. Sometimes you need someone to open your eyes and eventually that came to light for me.

I know that my father has been more supportive of me than I have ever been made aware of or even took the time to see that. I wasn’t easy and I know that I should have more understanding of things, but I was just a kid that never understood things like generational parenting. Things take time and I am relishing in the moments now to build up my relationship again. For today, I am grateful to have my father in my life.