Sacrificial Sunday

I had fallen by the wayside this morning, not doing my typical Sunday morning check-in with my mom about whether we were going to church today.

Last night it was implied that we weren’t going because the service was predicted to be longer than usual.

She called me with an hour to get ready for church.

While I am adult, she still knows that my autism and co-occurring anxiety keep me back from changing my routine with such short notice.

Upon hanging up, I may have been a bit blasphemous.

I had thoughts that as about over a month ago I have stated to my mother that was toxic, threatening, unhealthy and not needed.

What was needed was for me to mature and go to church with her.

Since she has now been my father’s full-time caregiver, we are never promised the opportunity to attend church as often as we once did, so I know that we had the opportunity today and I had to do right and take the time and go, even if my mind was telling me not to.

Yes, the service was longer, there was additional parts that were unannounced, and things happened to extend the service a bit longer.

But I got my spiritual needs met and have a renewed spirit of continuing the progress I have made last month and continue it going forward.

I even took making my mother a priority by not having my Sunday Sheetz run so she could take me home, then care for my father.

I am slowly learning that sometimes my family matters more than myself.

They are not going to be here forever.

When they call to tell me that they are doing something, it is more than likely that they want me to be a part of it because they want me there with them too.

When I got out of the car upon returning home, my mom said that she knew that I didn’t seem like I wanted to go to church but thanked me for going.

I thanked her and told her I loved her.

I am proud of myself for not reacting heavily as I have in the past. It has been a long road to get here, and it can only get better as time goes.

#takethetime #ProgressOverPerfection #lovewinsalways #kindnessmatters