As it can be hard to say that I am nearing the age of 40, it can be just as difficult to realize that it is just as normal that I am autistic, that there is nothing wrong with me other than I see and feel the world differently than fellow comrades. Throughout my life, my challenges have always been seen as a “problem” rather than just a part of who I am. I am starting to accept and understand that while I do have my challenges, that I am who I am and there is nothing wrong with that.

Throughout life, especially leading up to being finally diagnosed with all my challenges in my teens, there has always been without a doubt something “different” with me. In my family unit, I was always accepted and seen just like anyone else. However, there was those moments when things were different for me. I went to more doctor’s appointments and then was known to run the acronymic diagnosis alphabet for many years growing up until it was discovered what my challenges finally were. I was more emotional and took medicine called Ritalin until things got too much and we got on the medications that I am on today.

Puberty without a doubt was rough for me as it is for many autistic individuals. I remember one of my teachers sending me to the library with a list of my diagnosis to look up on the one computer at the time that had Internet via a dial-up modem.) Because back then while the diagnoses were handed to me, no one knew how to teach me to cope with the challenges that they brought.

I struggled socially for the longest time and while honest efforts were made to work towards making me more socially inclined, they were not perfect but somehow I pressed on in my own way to manage life as I do today. Other things became more standard as I grew up but there was always a part of me that always knew I was challenged and to many professionals, especially in the educational arena, I was seen as a problem.

Some of those perceived problems passed on to home life where I had years of professionals coming into the home looking for ways to help me manage myself but honestly back then they were clueless and some that have been around longer admitted that. So, I have always been seen as though something was wrong with me, although I knew for the most part that my family loved me no less than that or that my intelligence at times outweighed the challenges.

But as time has passed more toward being more of acceptance and inclusion of autism and other challenges, I too am being more accepting of my challenges too understanding that it is what it is, it is perfectly acceptable that I have challenges and that things may need to be different for me than what they are for others and that is OK too!