Many autistic people, myself included want to be able to connect with others but the world puts up so many things up against us in the path of doing so. We have so many more barriers from what society puts into place from just connecting and belonging in a world that is more or so intended on being inclusive and accepting of all.

It is often that we just want to have a friend that is outside of the circles that we are forced to have because of work or program commitments because those are often forced with paperwork commitments behind them. For far too long I have lived behind this cusp, and it can be difficult to have someone that is not forced upon you for connection and socialization  because it is “good for you”.

Rather, being friends with someone that you may not totally know can be scary and sometimes you have to put yourself out there when it comes to making connections. It can be further complicated when you are not looking for someone that is within the scope of being the same neurotype as you are. There can be many people who don’t understand us as autistic people for our quirks or challenges and see us as “weird” or “strange.” But in the same vein there can be those of us, like me that can keep our differences contained and mask as we need to in order to make that connection.

Without a doubt we can disclose our challenges if we choose to and as such it can come in the ways that we feel that it is best, but we must also understand the reality of rejection. It is something that I fear when I am making connections with others that I know can sting, but if I do the right thing and research and vetted properly to who I want to connect to, then I would have made the best choice to my ability to connect to others.

Many times, as autistic people we just want to belong to something because so many times we feel so much as an outcast to society for our flaws and not being understood as we are. We are human beings and have feelings just like anyone else and we want to be just as much as a part of something as the neurotypical person. We don’t want to infantized or patronized for our challenges, rather we want to be accepted for them and have our differences embraced for what they are.

I personally feel that one day I will have a better connection with others more than in the way that I do now. I know that I need to be patient and do my due diligence by being more open and putting myself out there when I need to. It can be hard and taxing, but it can also be worth the challenging moments, but it is also knowing when to set the proper boundaries in order to protect my mental health. It will happen within time, it is just knowing when that moment will approach and be ready for me to make that leap towards friendship.