Being autistic, it can be hard to read what people are saying, which in turn can make it hard to understand what is real versus what is not really meant to be taken seriously. It is always challenging and can be difficult to manage emotionally as an autistic person. It can tear me apart from understanding the things that can be hard to receive that are intended to be said in a joking manner rather than what they are in reality.

It isn’t that I don’t like a good joke, and I can lay a good joke just the same, it is just when the joke said by others involves a topic that I am sensitive to or take far too seriously that it can be very tedious for me to understand. I want to react negatively towards the one making the comment without understanding that it was a joke because as a literal thinker, I have taken what has been said in a serious manner because that is how I see it. I see it in a black and white sort of way and there is little or no gray area of seeing what is going on.

It can be challenging for me as an autistic person to realize that what is being said is not intended to be serious when I personally intend for it to be serious to the point that I react to it in a serious manner. It can be a little bit of offense that I am thinking that way because the person telling the story or dialogue has to often remind me that it was just a joke because it was intended to be that way and because I didn’t understand it, that was how I always saw it.

I often remember this peer growing up in high school who always had to remind me that what they had said in various banter was intended to be a joke. It was further extended to the community where they were a server for many years in a restaurant that I frequently visited when they would serve us dinner and they would make a comment and I didn’t understand it, of which nearly a decade and a half later would have to remind me that it was a joke as a way to lighten up. But often at that point it was pretty hard to me to lighten up because I was embarrassed that I took what they had said as seriously as I had without understanding the lightness of the situation.

In all reality it is taking more time to understand the current situation and the lingo involved within it or understanding the expressions as to whether someone is being serious or not. It is something that I continue to fight with at various times in my life that can be what makes or breaks my day and as a result can be challenging for me to understand. I know at times that others are just trying to have a good quip or laugh but I often do not see it that way because I see things literally as they are.

Through time and practice, things do get better at understanding what is real and what is not; some people are newer at understanding it than others and it takes time for me to warm up to their lighter side, it takes time and being patient on both sides.