It is hard saying that 15 years ago today, believing that it was a Monday, just like today I walked into my former employer for my first day of work. I had not wanted a job, but believing that the job was transitional in nature, my belief would be that I would just work it out. Little did I know that I would be there a decade and a half with no intention of quitting.

It is not that the thought of quitting hasn’t come up in my mind. In fact, I believe that it has come in my mind more times than actually cherishing my job. In those early days, just showing up to do the work was a challenge. My job is a job where you sometimes have to just ask people to do a survey, and for the longest time it was a struggle. It has gotten better and even though I don’t have to ask as much, it eventually got easier within time.

Then there were the times that I struggled personally, being in the situation of having to deal with situations with how I got to and from work and day services that were unhealthy and on top of that at times not doing what I needed to do to take care of my mental health. This is kind of weird being that I work at an agency that services the mental health population.

Working there has put me in some moments that allowed me to see that I wasn’t taking care of my mental health, and it was pointed out that I wasn’t to my treatment team. Even though I couldn’t see it, I thought that they were just ganging up on me because they didn’t like the person that  I was. I eventually saw that no one liked the person that I was, and  I was someone that I never should be. It would take some time for me to realize that even though there was some precarious moments when I didn’t always do the right thing, I never lost my job. I am forever grateful for my boss for being understanding and never giving up at the worst times of my life.

Things changed and eventually got better over the years. I adapted to things as they changed, including four workplace moves and just last year getting a new supervisor after my first supervisor, a distant relative worked adamant to have me on their team when I didn’t even think of being there for as long as I have been, but I keep trucking along because in a world where 85 percent of the autistic population does not even have employment, I know that I am not being a statistic and need to fulfill my life more than what I can do on my own.

I am in a much better position than where I was when I first started working as a younger man all those years ago. While there are still the morning scaries at times, I fight through them and do what is necessary for me to go to work because through everything that I have been through, I am grateful for the opportunity and know it is something that I should never take for granted. I am hoping that I can make the days going forward so much better than what I have in the past. I know I can if I put my mind to it and be the best I can be.