As we progress through the year and spring abounds, I am focusing on what makes me happy. For far too long I have focused on what was wrong with me or what I couldn’t do because I wasn’t my best self and my brain wanted to point out all the flaws that I had and call attention to myself because I had thought about all the things that were a problem in my life without understanding that my life is fairly good and that I am really blessed to be able to do the things that I can do.

Granted, the past nine or so months have been challenging with some family situations, but I have kept going understanding the necessity of self-care and the need to take care of myself, including being better to my mind. It can be hard to find good things in my life when there can be so much to point out to the contrary. But I do know that I have many things to be happy about and work to pursue towards being happy when I can find those things that let me see life in that way.

I have noticed that over the years, when calling attention to myself to make those close to me feel some kind of guilt for feeling the way I do towards myself, my faults or challenges, I would be upset when they counteracted with their own feelings because they too have had a lot going on and me airing my useless grievances on how terrible my life is when it is not only adds to their burden when it does not need to be.

Sometimes, we have to do our own leg work when it comes to finding out what makes us happy and brings us the joy that we are looking to find. It can be hard because being autistic is something that is hard to bear, and while I have been through so much over the past six years, I have overcome my struggles and not succumb to the point that I needed more treatment that I could not handle myself or without the help of family and for that I am grateful.

My whole life for the past six years has been a learning experience, and I continue to learn more every day. I could easily complain about what life has given me without finding the things that bring me joy. I have chosen to work at turning my life around by understanding the necessity of getting my mental health back on track and doing what I need to do to stay well. It hasn’t always been easy, but I do it because I needed to do it, or I know that things in my life could be a lot worse than what they have been in the past. I am a very smart man and some things I have learned the hard way about caring for myself and being my best friend so I can find the entertainment and joy that I need to have to live a fulfilling life. It won’t always be perfect, but I am getting there, and it will get better within time.