In my life there is so much that is going on all the time and so much that I want to do that it is just the way that I was raised to be. It was OK to just sit down and relax because my mind has always been told that I need to be constructive or doing something for my well-being without realizing that it is OK to just slow down and relax and enjoy something enjoyable for once.

It has  always been hard to allow myself to just sit down and relax because my mind is always thinking of something that I could do or needs to be done. It can be hard to prioritize those things at times. Part of that is in combatting isolation as it can be just as hard as feeling that I need to keep my mind out of the negative thoughts that arise from time to time. When those thoughts come up it has been hard for them to go away because there is nothing to distract me from them other than doing things that keep me busy.

While keeping busy has its benefits, there can be a time when I run out of ideas to keep myself busy and there must be things to keep me entertained. It is taking a big step in allowing me to relax because I feel guilty about things that I put off or are thinking about, but the reality is that I allow myself to work things out and just like any other person in the world, I too need to have my leisure.

I have for the longest time have put off having Cable TV in my home because I felt as if I have not deserved it. But it can be hard to realize that it can be a helpful tool in finding something to do other than the sources that I presently must do, which can be difficult in being able to keep engaged in for one reason or another. There is part of me that knows that it will be helpful to me to do what is necessary for me to take care of myself in the way that I need to as my life will change soon, and I must prepare for those changes to happen whether I like them too or not.

Life is always changing, and as much as I do not like to admit , part of it is going to make me stand more on my own two feet. It is not like I cannot do it, rather I do not want to do it because I have been so used to things being the way they are. Change happens at times when we do not have a choice. We can’t control things in our life but we must be able to work in combatting isolation in the ways that we see fit, if it is something that is simple as ordering Cable TV, then that must be what it is in order to protect my mental health and lessen my dependence on others in order to stay well when isolation can be such a combating thing to battle especially when it can be hard to find things to keep me busy.

Making myself a priority is something that can be hard to do, but I know I must do to be well.