As I have often shared, life is all about choices. As autistic people, we do not often think about choices, especially as it relates to food. Food has been a long struggle for me. Over 25 years, I have gained two hundred pounds. The main culprit has been a result of side effects of my psychotropic medications. Through some very destructive decisions, I have learned how much I have needed them and therefore I have accepted them into my life after many years of not believing that they mattered. They do.

Personally, I hate the fact that medication causes weight gain, but it is the hand that I have been dealt with, so I managed to accept it. Although I admit that I can do better by making wiser choices that are not so detrimental to my physical well-being. It can be hard for me as an autistic adult that lives independently to make conscious decisions all the time when there is temptation everywhere. \

Recently, I went to a nutrition class at my local library where a lesson was provided about dining out. While it cannot be totally avoided, it is best for me to make better choices. I know I need to make better choices, but part of me do not want to because I am led to believe that it is a way of empowering myself by choosing the way that I want to live. While I have had blood tests in recent weeks to see if I have any issues with my internal workup, that is not the case. It is the fact that I am more prone to weight gain because of my psychotropic medications and while I cannot change them, I must do more to work at combatting the issue of eating excessive amounts of food and work at making better choices.

I know I can if I put the mind to it. On the day of this writing for example, I chose to grab a couple of hot dogs at a Sheetz because if you have their loyalty card, they are 2 for a dollar, but for the first time in a very long time I did not grab a large soda because I knew in a matter of minutes I would be home where I could have a can of soda for no calories and wouldn’t have to spend the $2 for soda. It is all about the choices and that was one wise decision that I began this week with.

I know that it is up to me to make the better decisions, it is what you want to think about that is better for you. I may want to see a better number on the scale. Being a member of a local weight-loss support group for nearly two decades, I want to make better decisions but sometimes I don’t have the motivation to, but that sometimes has to come from within to have the desire and drive to do what is right for me even if it may not be the preferred choice at that moment. But when that drink or additional item is gone, how am I going to feel? In the end, it is about making the right decision for me and not digging myself into a deeper hole where the weight keeps going up and up and I do not do anything to address it. I have so much more of my life ahead of me, I need to do more to make a change and by starting by making some small changes will hopefully set me in the right direction.