Throughout the past weekend, I slept a lot. Part of it was because I was frustrated with the events of the day and part of it was because I needed sleep after not getting adequate sleep for an extended period. Regardless, it has taken me some time to adjust and realize that there is more to life than sleeping and I need to find my own sort of engagement.

Now, I do enjoy writing posts such as one and getting the related content that is needed for that sort of activity. It does take some time, but as it is getting winter and the days are getting shorter, I have been working on finding my own sort of entertainment. I do have a streaming TV, and I don’t look at it enough, but I through discovery with my mother earlier this week, there are countless opportunities that are free that I can fulfill my time with if I just allow myself to and not retire to bed and sleep until it is time to sleep for the evening.

Last weekend, I took an extended weekend that consisted of a great deal of sleeping. That is not my proudest moment, and like I said, it was partly needed because of not taking care of myself properly. But as of this writing, I am back on track with taking care of myself and realize what some of the damaging effects are when I do not take care of myself, including getting adequate sleep. There is a reality that I have not been able to do so steadily over the past four years that I have lived in my current home and now that I have and am able to feel much better than I have in a long time. It is like having the old me back that other people are used to and the Dustin that some may have never seen.

That is the reason as to why I was stuck with day service after wanting to leave last summer. I realized how hard it could be without having the time to work and when plans that I perceived fell through and realizing that I was unwell and had to get back on track and now that I have discovered through my own that things have always been in place for a reason and for me to defy what has been set for me was very dangerous and scary, I now see that if I take care of myself, there is potential. There is also potential if I do what I need to do more frequently such as keeping my apartment and possessions clean so that I can be able to do things that I want to do or potentially let others come into my home.

Life is what you make it. I must choose not to be a bump on a log and start to make more positive choices towards living better and being there for those that need me. Part of my responsibility is to take care of myself consistently and part of that is to keep myself engaged or entertained by things and not constantly fall into a sleepy slump. I have the power to do what I put to my mind that I want to do. Therefore, I must do better and make better decisions as far as it relates to my overall health and not waste the days away from others by sleeping life away from life as it is existing. Part of me in the end feels ashamed that I do such a thing and therefore I must do better at fighting the seasonal curves ahead of me.