Throughout my life, I have come across some challenging moments. I have not always handled them with the utmost tact and grace that I should have, but through countless years of psychotherapy, I have learned the importance of coping with challenging moments as there is always someone who sees me when I am at my worst.

Before and after receiving my diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome over 25 years ago, there have always been reactive moments that I have had. Over time, I have learned and am still learning how to cope when challenging moments are presented in front of me. Some may say that it takes the right recipe of things to work and for a fact there have been things that have helped me reduce my reaction capabilities.

One thing that I and many others with similar challenges can agree on is the fact that we do not like when others see us reacting in a negative manner. Having those stares or negative comments being made at us does not help an autistic meltdown. But what I have also realized is when others that look to me for inspiration have seen me in a way that is unbecoming to who they know I am become stunned at the way that I react towards something. It makes me feel as if I am a failure in showing them how to react to excessive stimuli. In fact, when I was not taking care of my mental health in the past, it was told to me that I “scare” people and that has resonated with me for some time and has been a driving factor of taking care of my mental health continuously.

By taking care of my mental health, there is more ability to not react in a negative way to a meltdown. I can redirect easier to things that are out of my control and be able to utilize the coping skills that I have been taught and continue to seek so I do not react negatively, so I do not make an already tense situation worse. I am the one that knows who I am and how I react to excessive stimuli. Others can see when I am at my worst and not taking care of myself, so not doing what is necessary to care for myself is only doing a disservice to those around me who care about me, even when I do not want to believe that they care.

There has been so much that I have reacted negatively to overtime that does not even exist anymore. Some of it could have been helped, but what has happened, happened and it is a learning experience of how to prevent challenges from happening when I become more sensitive to situations that I cannot handle by deploying the necessary coping strategies and defense mechanisms in order to protect my mental health and not react to others in a negative way that can be consequential if I let it. I have been lucky to not have any severe consequences in my life,  I need to keep working at making sure that things are well in place to ensure that I am not additionally prone as I need to be. I know what I have done is proven to work and therefore it must not be faltered with. There is a reality that must be understood and met, every day.