As the days are getting shorter in length and the holiday season approaches, it can be difficult for me to not feel sad. Sure, I have many reasons to be upset or sad. I have  a father in a care facility about an hour away from home and there are surmountable tasks that need to be done as a result, further complicating the traditional joy that comes with the holiday season. However, I am determined to fight the seasonal blues so that I traditionally must have a better holiday season.

The last few years were not my best holiday seasons, partly because I was not caring for myself in the way that I needed to. I was down and out on myself, more so not totally decorating for Christmas last year because I had not found it necessary to do so. There were a host of changes that happened last December that were pretty big changes that I was upset about and unwilling to accept. Now that I have accepted those changes, I am willing to make the season as better as possible without self-sabotaging myself, so I do not get down and out like I once did.

The fact that there was others concerned about me when I had only the small tree up last year seemed really concerning by others that I knew that something was wrong with me, yet I hid the fact that I was not caring for myself in the way that I needed to, especially when there were a host of changes under my belt that I did not partly like and was willing to accept them as what they were.

With all my grieving behind me and that I am now starting to accept the changes that have been made as a very beneficial thing, I am starting to be in a better position to accept that things are what they are and I must be willing to work at preventing the seasonal blues by fighting for being awake as much as possible during the season along with ensuring that I am getting adequate sleep in order to care for myself. As always, medication adherence is necessary.

But I must also work better at finding more things that bring joy to my life instead of being an old stick in the mud. There is so much to be grateful for yet, I always want to point out everything that is wrong in a situation. As my family has been certainly handed a lot this year, I must do what I need to do to ensure that my mental health stays in check and that I am caring for myself in the way that I need to not only for myself, but also for those that love me and are there for me. Those that see the potential that I have in myself along with showing them that I also have the potential to do things that I need to have by being able to be the example that I need to be for them because even if they do not say so, they too are looking to me for inspiration in this holiday season.

I am going to work on making this the best holiday season that I can!